My 18th birthday is the week after next, and I have to say, I am not really looking forward to it. My mom invited my whole family over for a 'surprise' party, which she accidentally mentioned to me today.

Anyway, you're supposed to feel good aout 18, right? I mean, it's supposed to be like a huge rite of passage, and yet, it doesn't seem like that to me. Honestly, I am surprised I have lived to see 18. I just don't think it's all the hype it was made out to be all these years, you know? All I'm gonna get out of celebrating it is questions from my uncle about what I want to do w/ my life now that I'm an adult, more hours, and later ones at that-at work, less time to do homework at night, and therefore, just a lot of stuff. Also, my friends will be begging me to buy them cigars and smokes, which is odd, because I don't smoke.

I just don't feel much about this birthday...I honestly think it's just another day-no big deal, yet everyone makes such a huge fuss about it. Maybe I'm just writing a depressed rant, but I am just not excited about my birthday. How sad is that? I don't want to celebrate, and I would rather spend my time alone skiing in the mountains than spend time with my family celebratign something that has little meaning and nothing but negative thoughts attatched to it for me.

When you turn 18, the way the world is changes, i guess. I mean, you have to work more hours, stay on top of your bills, your liability increases, you aren't let off as easily if you are in the wrong place at the wrong time...things of that nature.

On the plus side, I guess now I can go clubbing @ certain clubs in seattle and go to events and concerts and things that 17 year olds can't w/o fake I.D., so I guess there are some benefits to getting old, but not enough for me to get excited about.

I guess I am just not looking forward to celebrating my birthday this year. Maybe I should go to the casino and gamble a little like my friend did on her birthday, make some money and smoke a cigar, but just one, for the occasion of turning 18.