it seems that thats what im doing i keeping on believing the lies my moms tells me and each time its the same pain the feeling that i wont let happen againg but always does. Ok so she told me that she was going to this grieving xcenter i was wickedass bored so i dedcided id come. OK 5 mins before she leaves she says im actually meeting greg ( an onnline dude she has nevder met) for coffe but i didnt want to tell you . She said she didnt want me to feel bd so she hadnt told me , i was fine, but so she left at 8ish . Ok by 12 she hasnt come home yet i start iming my friends caus i was totally freaked for her cauz she had never met this dude right. SO by 1230 im franticlly calling her celll ( i called it about10 timemZ) and she doesnt pick up . I m really prone to anxiety so i was a mess and paranoid as hell, so i get this call at 1 . and i m like what the fuck man where the fuck are you , and she like im at ri ras (a irish pub) and im totally pissed right ., so i asked why she didnt call me soonere with the change of planz, and she s all like i m an adualt i dont need to tell you thingz. I wasnt upset she was on a date i was upset cauz i had been worried bout her and it was 1 am and she hadnt called.
I m really upset at this point an sice im an ex cutter i immedietly start craving it so i decide to see if the rubber band thing wrokz . Long story short i ended up with like 7 huge swollen red linezz on my wrist :( and i had school the next day :(

next day
My family goes xmas shooping my mom decides to have a heart to heart with me about how insanly sorry she is about how she lied to me and how its was worng.
Day after that
MY family decides to go out to eat i ask my mom if she is coming and she told me that she was going to some block party she comes home at like 2 . i was with my friend and he was like i wonder where your mom and greg are . SHe lied to me the next fucking day and told my friend the truth i cant deal with this shit my brother has anger problemzz and occansly beats me up hard i and now my momz lying it hurtz so bad each lye makes me want death . She knowz it hurtz me why does she do this . i just wish i could be numb to all this shit :(