I remember stopping right there,
under the moonlight with the waves against the shore and you were looking out to sea
trying to find someone, something you'd lost out there a million years before me and
I was feeling neglected so
I said "Here it is, look. Here is exactly what you want. Can you see it?"
And you said nothing, but I could not see it for it was not mine to see
And that night under the solitude and under your spell I cried a tear of
acid that burned our joint hands apart
But you could not see it for it was not yours to see.
i still had the scar, right there where my thumb meets the palm of my hand, when you left on the jet to i don't know where
but i got it covered in a story laid in ink.
"There, darling, imagine we're there in the house with the white picket fence.
Imagine we are free of all constraints and deadlines and social requirements, Imagine I have the ability to show emotion and you are confident
and that there, the ice never melts and the grass never goes brown and dies."
Wind swept plains, my bittersweet molasses in a jar
dripping over my body like a hardening shell to hide in, hide under
Don't believe everything they say, most of it's true so don't listen
Let me inside of you
Learn that I will not share but expect you to do so at every opportunity;
learn of my habits and needs and wants and I will eventually cater to yours
Once I have built myself, I will tear myself down for you
But not until then
The taste of powder on my lips from a kiss to the cheek
and I stop dead.
Don't you know, pretty china doll, that I'm the only one allowed to wear masks?
Pretty little unbreakable soldier girl
I want to break you apart, down into your most basic of elements and find out what you're made of.
But behind all that powder and paint you're just a scared little girl, hiding under her blankets
You are weak, just below the surface and when it comes down to it, I'm never the strong one--
the one in control, yes, but never the strong factor, never the stability they need.
You look back at me from a burning wreath of flame
Like a statue, so perfectly still
and at the same time, moving more than anyone could think possible
We will stay frozen in time
and here, in this moment
Forever drinking from the same chipped and broken mug of tears shed
for those who came before.
i guess i came before.
And again, here and now, standing in the water as you hold me here, before the sun's damning gaze, holding me ripped and bleeding and open for the entire
world to see and
I say "Look. Here's exactly what you want. Can you see it?"
I can't see, there's sun in my eyes and tears in yours
So I guessed we missed it, together and joined in our ignorance.
"There. We will grow older together, in the glass house we made with our own hands.
And when I throw my rocks you will rebuild it
In the same way that I seem to want you to rebuild this, behold the Butterfly in its net, the bird in the rafters of where we once lived
a flutter of its wings and i am broken down in to my most basic elements
Laid bare for your appraisal, but don't hurt me too much, darling, for I can and will hurt back
My conceptualized morality is just around the next bend, up by the Oceanside cabin with the birds nesting up in the chimney and the creak in the second
I will take you there once more and tell you of the lovers that came before and after you
The ways in which I haven't yet died, and all the reasons why this is so.
But I will want something in return.
Can you give that, beautiful girl, my strong one; thought I got off the whole ownership thing a while back but you always could bring out the worst in me;
That's what everyone said, always said we were damned to the eternal hell of loving from no distance at all-- no barriers aside from the ones we erect ourselves."
And on that hazy, lazy summer afternoon down, back where I once lived
Back in the streets that are not home anymore, just another reason to hate the government
Our planet rebelling against the same things we are
We lie together and
you say "Look. Here is everything you want. Can you see it?"
I can see it crashing down through the storm clouds
Burning along with the sparkle of a diamond, the happy eyes, the drops of blood and a burning sailboat
The touch of fingertips across my neck
"Yes. I see it all."