I decided I'm gonna ask my buddy Luke about this group in my city that meets every Friday night somewhere downtown. It's an all gay group and I don't know exactly what goes down there, but I think right now all I need is support. I'm driving myself insane. I just realized sometyhing this weekend. Even if my girl does love me back, she can't be with me. Her boyfriend would make sure I'm sent to the ER if she ever broke up with him for a girl. And well, that's kind of depressing. I guess really all I want now is to be around others like me, who go through the same stuff I am. Like, in real life. For support, you know. My school's GSA keeps me pretty sane, it's one of two reasons I like school. I mean, I feel normal there, if there even is a such thing as normal.
I'm not depressed or anything. I guess I'm just really stressed out lately. Again, there's the whole quitting smoking thing, which has lasted a week so far. I don't want to smoke and the cravings are barable, but still, I know that must have some effect on my mood. I wasn't feeling this tense until around the middle of last week.
Then of course, there's all that stress over my 'crush'. Though it's more than a high school crush. I hate using that word. Anyway, I decided to forget about my feelings for her. Yet another attept to get over her, but I'm going to try to find someone else. Who knows. maybe I'll meet someone at this group, if any of them are in high school still. Even if I don't get together with someone, seeing that it isn't a singles club, it would still be nice to go and meet others like me, and discuss topics on gay marraige, discrimination and anti-hate.
Anyway. Just thought I'd write an entry. I figured maybe if I wrote about going to this group I might actually go.