Have you ever found yourself sitting with a pen and paper -- or a computer and keyboard -- feeling the desire to write somehting, but having no idea what to write? Especially when you've written one or two entries already that day? I'm feeling that right now. I love to write. I really do. But right now I'm loving it so much that I'm writing just for the sake of writing. Not to express any feelings, or get my confused thoughts out in front of me, or brag about some amazing news. Nah. I'm just down-right rambling. I just got home from work. It was soooo slack tongiht. First snow squal of the season, and no one wanted to shop for groveries tonight. I can just see all the Loblaws shoppers sitting my their gas fireplaces, thinking, "I should really get some more food for that empty fridge, but it's way too damn cold!!" Don't you jsut love Canada? I do!! Man. Where would I be without snow in the winter!? I got off work, stood outside in the lobby calling my mom to tell her i'm ready for a ride. She said Dad was on his way. So I thought, I'll call him, and his cell rang, and rang, and rang until i got so bored of waiting inside. The snow was just coming down! So slowly, so gently, but there was sooo much! And the way the street lamps lit it all up... It was beautiful!! I had to go outside and feel the crisp air, and the wet snowflakes on my face. Dad picked up, I asked where he was. He said, "Right in front of you." I looked, but saw no red SUV. then I looked again. That car sure looked like the shape of our truck. But wow there was a lot of snow piled on it!! He was waiting there for like, two minutes!!

The ride home was so peaceful too. Listening to the classic rock station, driving at 40 km an hour on a road that people usually go 70 on. Mmmm. I felt like i was in paradise.

Yup. Today was a great day. I mean, Caitlyn wasn't at school, so she couldn't come to my GSA at lunch like she promised. Then when I told her our dinner&movie night is after school on Monday, she grossed out and said she's not coming... I pouted and whined that I'd go all alone then. she said she - might - come. It would be hard for her to get there though. She'd have to walk 40 minutes through bad weather. I was really looking forward to sitting in my hospitaily class, cuddled up on a couch with her, watching a gay movie. No, not gay as in, "That's so gay!" Like. I dunno. We're watching like, Brokeback Mountain, or Rent, or Transamerica or something. I wanna watch Rocky Horror, personally. But anyway. I hope she comes... I think if I whine enough i can convince her.

Haha that's the amazing thing. I always thought I'd be the guy in a relationship. But here's Caitlyn and me, not even dating and I've adopted the female role. And she's definately the guy without the penis. But with very nice, pleasantly grope-able boobs...

*ahem*

Yup. We're not dating but I've touched her in many ways a straight girl would never appreciate... she definately isn't straight, I don't even have to wonder anymore. She just has to learn to accept it. she's already started, thanks to me :) I know I've helped her in that sense. Ever since I became open about my sexuality around her, I've noticed a major change in the way she reacts to my come-ons.

God I love that girl.

Notice how I start an entry that has nothing to do with her in anyway, then by the end, it becomes solely based on her?

I did that to my friend tonight. I emailed her because we haven't been in much contact for a few weeks. I gave her the low-down on everything. My current christmas shopping plans, my previous christmas shopping expeditions, my friend status, social status, and od course, I meant to breifly mention Caitlyn and our current status. Turned out I dedicated the last 4 paragraphs about her. A good 500 words. About half of the email... :/ she;s gonna get annoyed with me if I keep obsessing about this girl. She's jealous already that I spend all my time with her ><

Anyway. Yup. My plan is to confront Caitlyn if she's at school tomorrow. If not, it'll have to be Sunday because of work and shopping taking up all my social time. I can't go shopping with my friends >> they're not sposed to know anything until they get their presents. ^^

Um. Yeah. More rambling-ness. I think I'm just gonna say, "Caitlyn, I want to kiss you." Or maybe I'll be more serious and sincere and ask her what she felt when I kissed her last weekend, and how she really felt when were cuddling. I want to know if she felt as much passion as I did.

anyway. I was gonna go to bed as soon as I got back from work. This already has taken up an hour. And I'll be even more tired tomorrow. So. Baibai!! -hugs everone and gives you all cookies-