I've told you before that I like you. That first time I emailed you and told you I am a lesbian, I asked you not to see me any differently. I told you I wasn't asking you out, or trying to make you like me back. I told you I just wanted to get over you.
I thought I had. I told you a week later about a girl in my Spanish class. I said I was planning on asking her out. I had it all planned out in my mind. It was going to work. And then, that night... oh that wonderful night. We were on the bed, watching a movie. Teri was on the computer, a few feet away, and you and I were holding each other in our arms. I realized then, that I still loved you. I didn't just 'like you'. I was absolutely head over heels for you. You said it; you may have been talking to the TV, but you said, "Kiss me." So I kissed you. We started talking about sexuality. You said you thought you might be bisexual. You said it didn't matter, but I know it does. It did for me. I went and kissed you again, on the lips. And again. I kissed your cheek, your neck, your ear. I didn't want the night to end. There is no way it doesn't matter to you. I've been where you are. I've been at the stage, where you're afraid to admit your sexuality. I've told that same wonderful girl, Teri, that I think I might be a lesbian. It will become easier for you to say it. And you know I'm here to talk if you ever need to.
But I love you. How do I know? Well, I've never felt this way before. I've dated men, and it was no where close. I've had crushes on other girls since grade 5. And never before, did I feel so much passion for one person. It kills me to hear you muse about boys. I'm not asking you to stop; if you like someone, I want you to be happy and like them all you want. Love them even. But I do love you, and I know now I won't stop loving you.
I wish I could tell you this. You can't imagine how many times I've tried since the night I kissed you. Jeez, it wasn't even a week ago. But whenever I feel the time is right to say it, I back out. I was so close to kissing you again tonight. I had a perfect opportunity, and I never took it. I wish I had the courage to show you how much you mean to me, whether you feel the same way back or not. I don't care. I don't care if you never love me the way I love you. I just wish you knew.