Okay, the only advice I can really give you in this situation is to give as much love and support to your brother as you possibly can. Eating yourself up with worry only weakens you and makes you less able to support him, so do everything you can to keep yourself strong. Reach out, vent, write (writing saved my life many times). When you see an opportunity to do for your brother, by all means do it, but part of growing into adulthood is also realizing and accepting that there are limits to what you can do, and that worrying about what you can't change only needlessly increases your own misery.

I'm not religious, but one of the things I live my life by is the first stanza of the Serenity Prayer, which goes like this:

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference."

Put it on your wall, in your purse, or someplace else you can look at it whenever you feel overwhelmed by your brother's situation, or any of life's many other seemingly insurmountable obstacles. You'll be amazed at how much that simple stanza can help you to get a grip on things.

Hang in there, sweetie. If you're craftsy at all (or even if you're not), you might consider making your brother a nice card. I'm sure he'd appreciate it. And on occasions such as this, you're allowed to be as mushy as you want.

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay
characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

www.myspace.com/patnelsonchilds