I actually didn't do that today.

I told my crush that she should break up with her boyfriend and hook up with me. She said no. I told her that she can stay with her boyfriend and she should hook up with me (I wouldn't tell). She said no. I said she and her boyfriend should have an open relationship. She laughed.

I told her that she should take me out to the movies. She didn't reply. I said, "so you're not going to take me to the movies?!" (in a pathetic voice). She said, "no, I will."

I am extremely happy.

Maybe I should go grope straight people in crowded areas now.