i was going to call but it's kind of late... so i figured i'd not wake you, i know you've been tired lately. i could never do what you do, but then maybe you couldn't do what i do. who knows? i've been thinking about how everchanging everyone is. i've noticed i've picked up a lot of habits from the kids. for example, in a recent conversation about rocky horror, rather than just confirming that i liked the movie, i exclaimed, "i loooove rocky horror!!" in true mary style. the girl i was talking to responded with, "and i love you." i wonder what she meant... she may have just been teasing me for my sudden excitement, or was she hinting at something more. only time will tell, as they say, but you don't know about that anyway. it's strange how things over the summer would've changed if everyone knew i was gay. in some ways, it'd have been easier, but in many respects so much harder, if not impossible. and in a way, i needed that time, as crappy as being closeted is, it feels like a safe place, there's a sence of security in totally denying your true self, even if it is painful. but now i'm becoming more comfortable with myself, and i've developed a support system or sorts. i think everyone should come out, there's something healthy about being tortured to a certain degree.