ahhh gosh im sleepy well anywayz last nite i was dangerously on the edge of suicidal but i dont ever think of killin myself but last nite i was dangerously thinkin bout it but then i realized i couldnt leave my sis that way, but then i kept on thinkin i dont want to fuckin live with this pain anymore, but then i kept on thinkin bout my sis, all i know is that life fucked up, and so is my bestfriend i dont know wat happened last nite but she ditched me we were talkin and i was considerin killin my self and she ditched me i was so pissed that i (one more reason why i didnt) wanted to yell at her the next time i see or talk to herbe then again it would make me feel real good to make her feel guilty jus playin.

all i know is that i was thinkin of doin it i went to my bestfriend to talk to bout it and she ditched me and i guess she couldnt handle learnin im not jus an all happy all play person that jus shows noone gets me but when i see her or talk to her im goin off on her bad

and one i guess all wanna know why i would kill myself well my life is full of good and bad memory mostly bad like 95 percent bad and idk why i means from havin been sexually abused till i was 11 and then to keep doin that kinda stuff cuz i didnt know how to lose the feelin and then to have ur mom dy before u even get a chance to hit a age wit more probs and to leave u wit a grandma that loves u but its her way man life fucked and i have so more probs then that its jus i dont know em i dont know why im borderline sicotic jeez well im done byz