I've come to terms with coming out and being gay now but I was thinking on how people at school would treat me. I don't think anyone would harass me or insult me and if they did there's so many easy comebacks/defenses or just people to turn to. But still I am just feeling semi-depressed over wtf coming out will do to my already limited social life. The girls may be happy and we can go shopping and check out guys and have a blast, but would I ever invite one of them over? What would we DO? Will I ever want to go to a party?
I still can't see the point really, sure it might be fun, and maybe being drunk is a thrill, but I don't really want to be drunk and/or in the position to let all sorts of things slip out, or to get into lots of trouble. It seems like everything my peers do on weekends or sometimes after school is all just stereotypical STUFF to do, and they're doing it more to be seen, rather than to have fun/make friends. I'm all for going and seeing a new movie, but I'm still trying to piece together why some of the kids in my grade have a blast going to a mall and causing havoc and getting in trouble and never buying a thing.
I guess being pessimistic half the time now isn't very helpful, and I can think of a lot of times I'd be uber friendly or outgoing or up for doing whatever with classmates, but I can see feeling so awkward sometimes after coming out, and having next to no one to hang out with, or the girls all going to the bathroom or getting angry with me for something, or never having a chance at sports because of it all. There's still a month of summer left and now I just need about 6 more volunteer hours, but I have yet to go to a pool or hang out with ANYONE from school. And it seems so tacky to email someone or jump on MSN and ask them if they want to go somewhere...
Maybe I'll get super duper lucky and next year in September a host of new guys will show up, and some may be new gay friends, or they may just be straight/bi and want to hang out with me. Or who knows... again I can see transferring schools being such an easy solution to things.