hmmm.... dont so anything stupid plz.

I'm glad that you did get it all out. I hope that you feel better now. And if not, at least you'll have a nice list to refer to. Things will look up. Truly. Well, probably. You'll find your place in this world and everything will sort itself out. Good luck!

Indifference is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it.

I've been through a lot of the same feelings that you're going through right now. My parents are kind of more concerned with my siblings than me, too. Not extremely so, but enough to hurt. Like how they make a big deal out of my siblings' achievements, yet completely ignore mine. What helps me is to remember that I'm my own person and I don't need THEM to make me feel good--I can do that by myself. And they do put a roof over my head and food in my mouth and that's better than some people get, so for that I'm thankful.

My brother's the same way. He always manages to make me feel like I'm a lowly peasant and he's the king, even if unintentionally. Just be yourself and you'll be successful in your own way. You may not by his standards, but taking other people's standards as your own is always a losing play. Think of the American Revolution. If the patriots would've thought of themselves using British standards they most certainly would've lost because their seemingly overwhelming failure to meet those standards would've robbed them of hope. But they didn't. They completely ignored them and did their own thing and because of their belief in their way they won. Do the same with your brother and you'll feel much better.

Sure, some people hate homosexuals, but you can't let it get you down. The only thing worse than being ignorant is taking to heart the words of those who are. Are you really going to let a bunch of ignorant bigots make you feel badly? They don't deserve to reach their hateful goals and most certainly don't have the right to make good people feel like bad people. You have to fight! Don't go off attacking straight people now, lol, but rather fight within yourself. There was a quote by Gandhi that says something along the lines of, "To revolt against others you must first revolt against yourself." Keep on telling yourself that there's nothing wrong with being gay and eventually you'll believe it. Remind yourself that who you are is (whatever your name is...) and what you are is extraordinary. Every bit of you, which includes being gay. Don't let anyone else ever tell you differently. That thought is the common trait of all confident people.

And the comment continues! With the whole God thing, I believe that God is in our hearts and that's why there's prejudice, hate, poverty, etc. in the world--because people ignore God's voice in themselves and just like a neglected plant that hasn't been watered, God's love withers and becomes weak. If you want other people to listen to God and stop discriminating, then you're going to have to listen to him too. Another Gandhi quote...,"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

Wow, that was a hella long comment! Well, hope it helped!

<3

"Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible." T.E. Lawrence