Okay, so I have this friend, let's just call her Sora, and she lives just down the street from me. We see eachother pratically every day. And we sleep over at eachothers houses a lot. (Which is great because she is SO cute when she's sleeping.) And... I can't stop thinking about her.
When I'm around her my thinking abilities go down the drain.(Swoosh!) It's really weird actually. I'm always worried about what I do or say, because I'd hate to offened her or anything. And if I feel that I might have made her the slightest bit uncomfortable, I'll feel giulty for the rest of the day... But I really, REALLY like being around her... A lot.
I'm fairly ceartian that she has no idea. And I'm positive that she dosen't feel the same way about me as I feel about her. She'll talk about wanting a husband and what she wants him to be like and who she's had a crush on recently.
I'm planning on coming out to her soon, but I haven't yet. And it's making me crazy. Because if I don't come out to her then I'll have to put up with this, but if I do I'm afraid things between us will be akward. She's not homophobic. But she might treat me differently. You know, she might not hug me as much or something. And I don't want things to start geting akward... But things are akward anyways.
I guess I rather be able to talk freely around her. Anyone have tips for coming out? Because eventually she's going to figure it out anyways, she's not stupid. And she'll realize that I show no interest in guys whatsoever. Because it's probably obvious.
I mean, I avoid saying anything about future boyfriends/ or husbands at all costs. She goes around pointing out all of these cute actors and I'd be like. "Yeahhhh... Whatever." and I always refer to guys as "cool" or "awesome", never "hott". But then again, if the thought never crosses her mind she'll never put the peices together. Sort of like when I was the only one in 5th grade without a crush on somebody. I'd even list all of the boys in my class in my journal and come up with exuces for why I don't have a crush on any of them. XD I was such a pathetic kid.