Best Friend Forever....
Okay, so I have this friend, let's just call her Sora, and she lives just down the street from me. We see eachother pratically every day. And we sleep over at eachothers houses a lot. (Which is great because she is SO cute when she's sleeping.) And... I can't stop thinking about her.
When I'm around her my thinking abilities go down the drain.(Swoosh!) It's really weird actually. I'm always worried about what I do or say, because I'd hate to offened her or anything. And if I feel that I might have made her the slightest bit uncomfortable, I'll feel giulty for the rest of the day... But I really, REALLY like being around her... A lot.
I'm fairly ceartian that she has no idea. And I'm positive that she dosen't feel the same way about me as I feel about her. She'll talk about wanting a husband and what she wants him to be like and who she's had a crush on recently.
I'm planning on coming out to her soon, but I haven't yet. And it's making me crazy. Because if I don't come out to her then I'll have to put up with this, but if I do I'm afraid things between us will be akward. She's not homophobic. But she might treat me differently. You know, she might not hug me as much or something. And I don't want things to start geting akward... But things are akward anyways.
I guess I rather be able to talk freely around her. Anyone have tips for coming out? Because eventually she's going to figure it out anyways, she's not stupid. And she'll realize that I show no interest in guys whatsoever. Because it's probably obvious.
I mean, I avoid saying anything about future boyfriends/ or husbands at all costs. She goes around pointing out all of these cute actors and I'd be like. "Yeahhhh... Whatever." and I always refer to guys as "cool" or "awesome", never "hott". But then again, if the thought never crosses her mind she'll never put the peices together. Sort of like when I was the only one in 5th grade without a crush on somebody. I'd even list all of the boys in my class in my journal and come up with exuces for why I don't have a crush on any of them. XD I was such a pathetic kid.
Whatever...
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Comments
i felt the same way before co
i felt the same way before comin out to my best friends. and i was always afraid to show any emotion around her, because i knew i would tell her sometime, and i didnt want her to feel wierd. so she'd always say as we were loggin off of instant messenger "*hugs* and luv ya." and i was like, "thanx", then one time she was like... dont u luv me too??" just in friend way of course... and i was like... um... yeah.... so i finally came out to her... and it really make ya feel better. its like, a GIANT weight it lifted. u see the world in a whole new light and it is soo much better. i hightly incourage u to come out to her. and it does make things different, but times change, so u can never tell if its from u coming out, or things just being natural and changing... but it'll happen sometime. i would recomend telling her online while instant messanging if u have it. it makes it easier, and u can sit as long as u like before hitting enter without it just seeming wierd... so really, its easier online. but it will make ur life seem infinently better if u tell, because it just lifts a huge weight, and it seems like u can have ultiment trust in this friend now, because after telling her this, theres nothing more important. i just highly encourage u to tell her. sorry, this was really long.
"Never apologize for saying what you feel. It's like apologizing for being real."
yeah...telling a good friend
yeah...telling a good friend (especially one you like) is always a bitch...sometimes, i've found that the ones i thought would be most uncool with it, turned out to be the most supportive. you never know until you try...
i had this one friend who i liked (i didnt know that until after i came out to her) and when i told her that i liked her, she didnt hug me for a week (even though she was totally ok with it and even said she took it as a compliment). that sucked but then there was this time when i was really depressed and i started crying and my friend hannah hugged me and sam (the one i liked) said "oh so youll hug her but you wont hug me?" and then she was cool again.
of course she isnt talking to me now...but thats probably unrelated