I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!! Woo-hoo.
I have just gotten back home from the beach. I finally had a heart-to-heart talk with my mom, and I have come to one conclusion: she has absolutely NO understanding of what I'm really going through.
We were in the car, driving to a bunch of shops, and she basically said that I'm being "dramatic" about this whole thing. She said that I should think about whether I'm really gay or not, and that if I really am gay, then I should stop being so ashamed of it, because it isn't a big deal.
Dang it Mom, being gay may not be a big deal to you, but it is to me! She seems to think I'm still just a kid
who has a lot of growing up to do. She actually said that I'm "trying to be a martyr before I'm dead". I told her about my fear of not being able to get a female date, and she told me that middle school-age kids shouldn't be thinking about dating.
So sue me if I'm INTERESTED, Mom! What if I fantasize about nice, romantic dates with another girl? What fine print in what contract says that in order to be a middle schooler, you have to be uninterested in any romance whatsoever? I mean, honestly!
I just don't understand my parents. What do I have to DO to make you guys happy?? I can't be perfect, people! I'm sorry, but I just can't! Why can't you just respect me and what I'm feeling right now, and let me make my own dumb mistakes?? I'm sorry, but I doubt that I'm going to turn out to be straight after this. Come on, who thinks that they're gay when they're young and then ends up being heterosexual later in life?
Now I feel even more angry and confused than before. Dang it. Now I can see why some people wait until they're fifteen to twenty-five years old to tell their parents. My mom hasn't taken me seriously, and I don't know what my dad thinks about this. After my mom's response, I'm afraid to ask him. Ack. Ack, ack, ack, ack, ACK.