Wow I have to say my title for this entry would make a greaaaaaaaaaaaaat book title. Among other things. Anyway, this is a rant. About models! They look soooooooooooo good. Nice, attracive, six-pack laced, tanned boys. It makes me sad wondering if I ever *will* look like that, and how they got like that and how awkweird the thought of a gym is. The thought of a gym is awkweird not only because it'd be embarrasing to ask the rents (the ones with the 'par' in front, duh) to go to a gym, but also because: I'd go there not knowing what to wear, wondering if I should be changing/showering or not, walking around kind of clueless I'm sure. And then if I finished early or something, I'd just be there waiting. And if not, I'd be there with a ton of fit(ter) people and having no one I knew be there. Yikes. And then swimming sounds fun, but apparantly it doesn't 'build' so much muscle as much as it keeps you super fit and if you do it for YEARS you'll get nice six-pack abs. And then starting now and doing it for ages sounds fine, since I just want to look wonderful by 22, but swimming could be awkweird TOO.

So I just get dropped off, go into changeroom, change into trunks, hop a lane is free and hop in? And then feel blush-worthy over my skinniness/now we go onto the dirty part - body hair and zits?! Yucky, but then I mean I haven't been to a lanes pool pool place in years, not since around age 10 and the Y and then after that actually yes, but ANYWAY, back to the point, though you can comment on that stuff for sure and please do. It's so annoying to want models/attractive people so bad, and not look nearly so good, or know that they'll obviously be attracted to equally attractive people, and less likely you. And then the whole desire for everyone to conform to the norm, and so many teenage guys going to gyms, it must look very scenic in them, and in school they do look nifty, but again - AWKWEIRD. Someone recap a story of first going to a gym for me. Omg I feel so embarrased my legs just feel so thin from typing away when I should be out playing run-around games/sports/swimming avec FRIENDS. But then it's summer, and my friends are school-only essentially. And then they're almost all girls. And then the ones that aren't, I don't have their numbers, and trying to get them would be weird, and then I have done next to nothing with them outside of school.

I call my cousin Fatass McPhee in my head. Everyone in my family is not chubby or anything more. I am the thinnest person. I keep harping on about this, but jeeze I don't know what to do to build muscle, put on way more weight, make friends, either come out as gay in high school and in the process make many friends and GO to parties and HAVE people over to my house, or to appear STRAIGHT next year with 1 year after that again, and date someone or something to make everyone believe I am hetero. Grrrrrrrr. Kiss kiss, bang bang and sans the banging of guns, but hopefully banging of people for you. I feel like driving a car over the Phelps. I want to have a first gay kisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. I love the song and music video for Britney Spears' Do Something. Lmao. Poor thing though Papparazi gone crazy on her. But then she kind of looked like white trash on that NBC interview... I have so many ups and downs, it's really bad that they're getting tied into the Sims 2 and other games I'm just playing. I really need a solution for what to do this summer so come September I'm looking bigger and muscular and have hung out with people over the summer. Damn I like you a zillion times more for reading all this. If you don't comment I spit on you though. Kiss Kiss, bang bang ;p

I'll edit this in for cool points: Link to Do Something: http://youtube.com/watch?v=FJiGNeuCy2o&search=Britney%20Spears%20Do%20So...

or just go to youtube and search for Britney Spears Do Something. Cuz you know you want to now. I watched it again and it looks really sillier, but watch past 2 mins and you might get some vibe off of it. And 1+ min in Britney looks really really hot for anyone of all ages (over 10) I'm sure we can agree. Not the part with her in the red thing, but the lingere parts :o Which is dirty, but damn.