This is the true story of what I thought was true love, and was meant to be. All names have been changed to protect the innocent, mainly me…
1.1
Brooke sat on the beach, her eyes lifted to the stars alight in the dark sky above. Sometimes, when it all got too much, when she couldn't quiet the pain and confusion, she came here to sit and think. The vast ocean before her and the endless sky above made her feel inconsequential and if she was inconsequential then so were her problems. Rationally she already knew that school popularity contests, arguments at home and boyfriend troubles really were unimportant in the grand scheme of things. It was just that she needed a reminder of that fact every so often. Life got very big on you sometimes and you needed a shove backwards to put it all in perspective. 'Brooke?' The soft inquiry dragged her from her depths and Brooke turned to find me standing a few feet away. Warm hazel eyes smiled shyly in to crisp blue and Brooke indicated the sand beside her with a nod of her head. I dropped to the slim girl's side, feeling ungainly in my own body as I always did when near Brooke. I had always admired Brooke - popular, straight-A student and all-round beauty as she was - but recently I had come to know and like her. Brooke had proven herself atypical of the popular crowd; she seemed to have a heart as well as a brain and a body. My eyes swept over that body, finding the tall form hunched in to itself, the beautiful face lined with worry. 'Are you OK?' 'Yeah,' Brooke consciously lightened her features, 'Just thinking.' 'I'll leave you alone then.' I made to raise myself from the sand but a gentle hand stilled my progress. I allowed myself a moment to soak in the feel of Brooke's elegant hand on my bare arm, patting the long fingers with my own before the other girl withdrew the contact. 'Is there anything I can do?' I offered. 'Just sit with me.' I considered my response because I knew that when she'd left home, Brooke had been sure she sought solitude. Now she was asking a girl she barely knew to share the quiet space she had made for herself. Though perhaps that was unfair to me; she did seem to understand better than most people in life. Certainly better than Loz, sadly better than her Father or Step-Mother, probably better than Ben and Jai. Brooke let out a long sigh, what a mess things had become. I returned my gaze to the figure beside me, 'You know I'll listen, if you want to talk.' 'I just,' Brooke paused, looking deep in to concerned eyes, 'sometimes it gets too much.' I smiled in understanding, 'Yeah, I know what you mean.' 'When it gets like this I just like to come out here and feel small.' 'Says a natural size 8.' Brooke barked her amusement in a short laugh making my smile widen. 'You're even more beautiful when you smile like that.' I froze, "even more beautiful"? God, Brooke, the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen, just called me beautiful. That was a definite "Wow". Brooke bit her lip, carefully watching my reaction. She really hadn't meant to let slip the thought that had rushed through her mind as my face had shifted in the glow of the nearby fire. It was just that, before her brain could edit the comment, her heart had spoken. 'Erm,' my smile became embarrassed, 'thanks.' 'It's OK,' Brooke again stroked my arm, 'it's the truth.' We sat in silence for a while, Brooke returning her gaze to the stars and me making vague patterns in the sand around her. 'So,' Brooke began, breaking the silence, 'what bought you out here?' Brooke watched me tighten beside her as she asked the seemingly innocuous question. I looked away quickly, my eyes locking on a point far out to sea. 'Sorry,' Brooke continued quickly, 'you really don't have to answer that.' 'No, it's just...' I took a deep breath, 'It's just something I haven't told anybody about. Not even Loz.' 'You don't have to tell me anything.' Brooke felt the sting of disappointment, of course I would talk to Loz before I'd even think of saying anything to her. 'Actually,' I looked in to clear blue eyes, 'I would like to talk about it.' I took another deep breath, considering how to broach a subject that I hadn't discussed with anyone in my own circle of friends. I wondered for a moment if Brooke could truly be described as my friend but the compassion in her eyes left no doubt. 'I...,' I trailed off immediately. This was hard, my head felt heavy, my throat was dry and I could feel perspiration stand out on my skin in contrast to the cooling air around them. 'I've been to a group meeting,' I began with more confidence than I actually felt. 'What sort of group?' Brooke turned to fully face me, leaning towards me as she listened. 'A gay youth support group,' I explained in a rush. 'Oh.' I watched Brooke's reaction, expecting her to back away, half believing that she would get up and walk off. This whole coming out thing was a nightmare, though I had to admit it was an adrenaline rush too. Maybe that explained why the few openly gay kids she knew kept coming out to all and sundry. I considered that for a moment, they didn't seem to have a problem doing this so why was my heart trying to sledgehammer its way out of my chest? Brooke watched the emotions cascade over my face. She admitted to herself that she was surprised, not so much about the gay thing but more about the “me