If you had asked me a year ago, I would have answered 16: that's when I realized I was lesbian by meeting my ex-girlfriend and falling in love. that's when I acknowledged something, when I started some lesbian life. If you had asked me a year ago, I would have told you with the most honest intentions that I never considered my sexuality before age 16.

But recently I read my old diaries from when I was 11, 12, 13 years old, and back then I literally wrote: "I fell in love. But it is with a woman." And some entries later I rectified myself, saying that I was probably not really in love. And then some time later, I was all obsessing about another girl, and I literally wrote: "If I were a boy, I would say I have a crush on her." But being a girl, I apparently did not think that was possible. But then at least I asked myself: "Does that mean I am a lesbian?" but I concluded "No, it doesn't". I don't remember any rational logic which brought me to that conclusion, but I think "lesbian" just sounded so terribly alien und unthinkable at that time for me (I did not know any lesbians, not even gay men) that I did not even seriously consider the possibility that this word could describe ME. I asked myself that question, but only to reconfirm what I needed to reconfirm: that it was impossible to be a lesbian.

So in a way I questioned my sexuality when I was about 12, but then I didn't. Cause when I seriously considered my sexuality again at age 16, I had completely forgotten that I had ever questioned it before. Weird story, isn't it? I answered 10-13, to do justice to the questions which I find in my diary, even though the "questioning" I did then was so shallow that I did not even remember it 3 years later.

Did anyone else question their sexuality at some point only to come up with the answer that they are NOT gay/lesbian, and then forget that they had ever questioned their sexuality?

I put 14-17 since that was after I first realized i had a crush on a female teacher. Of course, for basically that whole time I was in strict denial about it, and wouldn't admit it to myself until I was 18. And there were some definate red flags before I was 10 too... so it's difficult to pinpoint when exactly.

13 was when I put a name to it.

- One Nation, Under Darkness