Ok so I go to the Dr.'s office today at 12;45 pm and sit there for several hours only to get another appmt tomorrow at 3pm...I drive home, get out of the car and go inside only to find all the doors closed and the dog in the computer room with the door shut too... My lover is nowere to be seen...Bedroom door is closed..I open it and my jaw hits the floor....We have a open relationship Robb and I do that is to say he can have sex with other persons as long as its not at our home and not in our bed...Yet here he
is naked with some other guy on top of him
going at it!!!AND WITH NO CONDOM!!! I yell at the guy to get the fuck out of my house
then start yelling at Robb for breaking our promice to each other...DAMN I AM MAD RIGHT NOW! I feel like throwing him out too...I feel my trust has been broken and lost by him...Yeah I can't perform for him as I am unable to get an erection but still.............What to do????Talk it out and make up and forgive and forget? Hell no I cant forget...forgive yes...forget no....I am seeething with anger....no place to turn so I type it out here. Sorry to rant and rave like this but I need to blow steam.....
I am shaking with anger....No I won't hit him or the like just need to calm down.
Shit I hate this happening....We have been together for 15 years and this now happens...shit shit shit shit. Ok take a deep breath....go have a smoke and calm down....Ok better now...took a 20 min walk. I am over the anger somewhat now and am much calmer...We talk....he admits he is wrong...I except his appology...its over now...but man you should have seen the face of the other guy when I came storming in the bedroom....Its funny now that I look back on it...I am laughing at his supprised look on his face...getting dressed fast and leaving on a run...
damn...it was funny.
Well folks , my job and I are no longer connected. The disability insurance company will not pay, No help from the state, and nothing from the govt. So...I had to quit my job so I can get unemployment and be able to pay rent. Problem is it takes 9 weeks to get the money from unemployment. Since my heart operation last month its been a real struggle. You think you have problems huh?
Otherwise my lover and I are well, he is still fighting the HIV. His "T" cell count is good and high, and his viral count is still low, both good news. But he cant work eather due to Dr's orders. Hence we have no money from any source. Bills are still stacking up. Some day things will go the other way.
We went to a friends place in the country this last weekend and enjoyed the farm life for two days. He has a farm house near Stearling Colorado, and He has offered the place to us to move to free rent. We just have to play house keepers and keep the place up and provide the food for him, his lover, and a roomie. We just might do that. I can cook very good,they cant,infact they only have one pot and one fry pan in the house. WE have furniture they don't really. So we could help each other out a lot. What do you think should we move there? It is two hours drive east of Denver. No neighbors to see you walk around neked which they all do by the way. Lots of storage for our stuff, dogs can run with out fences and leashes. Cats can too. Lots of bugs, need to get chickens. What do you think?
you are loved.