Thanks guys for your comments on my last journal entry,i've decided to put a little distance between myself
and the girl for a while.I seen her the other day which was cool,but I just don't know how she feels about me
and im just not ready to come out to her to find out if she likes me as more than a friend.I'm just too
confused about whether im bi or lesbian.Somedays I think maybe im straight but I think I would just be
kidding myself to say that.

I'm 20 but I haven't had any serious relationships with any guys,and to be honest I haven't had many
crushes,but I think I have had more crushes on girls than guys.But then I went to an all girls school and
most of my friends have always been girls,so maybe that is because i've just known way more girls.At 20 I
really should have this figured by now but I was always way too scared to deal with any gay feelings that
I pushed it to the back of my head but it has always been there.One night a while ago I decided to just
be honest with myself and admit I do like girls and it felt great to just be honest with myself.But then I
started to feel ashamed of myself when I thought of anyone else finding out.Then in the last few months
I have started to get over the shame,but i'm still just so confused about what I am.For a while I thought I
was lesbian,but im just not sure.I do think some guys are hot but I just don't know.I feel like if I go out
with a guy i'd just be using him to see if I am gay and that wouldn't be fair.There is a guy I work with who
I think is cute but im not sure if I like him or the idea of being "normal" and having a boyfriend.Sometimes
I think about just pushing all this gay stuff out of my head and just be straight.But I feel i've come too
far to do that since I know I like girls.It was such a relief to join this site and have at least some other
people know that I like girls,and not have all this locked up.But im just feeling real down about my
sexuality right now.Just wish I was straight.