Think about how you would want to be approached ideally when it comes to asking a girl out. Personally I would keep it all low key in the eventuality of rejection so that it doesn't become too terribly awkward and you could appear to just brush it off. As for romance, I think that comes somewhat later, when you know her well enough to know what she would appreciate. Would she want you to write her little notes? Leave her a flower in her locker or wherever, or is she just not into that.

I agree that there is a lot of emphasis on coming out and surviving gay bashing out there as opposed to just living and enjoying being gay, the dating life and all of that. So much in dating is traditionally based on gender roles that when it comes to us there's just no info out there--like if you're gay dates are unnecessary.

It's really up to you, and I think that's how it should be regardless of sexual orientation. Even if I was straight there are a lot of things in conventional dating that I just wouldn't be into, I'm not particularly interested in having a guy pay for everything, or call me sweety or other weird petnames, or try and make out with me at school, or bring me flowers all the time, and I wouldn't want a girl to do that either. When I think of gay dating I tend to picture a more balanced relationship, because I know that's what I want.

My best advice is to get to know the person, keep in mind what would make you happy and then figure out what you think would work for them. The problem with dating advice in general is that it doesn't work for everyone--it just happens to be more obvious in our cases.

As for the socially inept it's the same thing really.

I don't know if you found any of that helpful, but there's my dating advice and it's the same that I give to my straight friends when they ask. But I can totally empathize with your not being able to find anything usefull...I get lots of christian dating e-mails....

California--the land of coffee and bagels.