I wrote this for an assignment at school:
I am a member of a long-suffering minority. I have known it all my life, but for years I was too ashamed to acknowledge it. I feared that if I revealed this aspect of myself to the world I would be ridiculed by my peers. However, I am finally ready to come out and say… I am a dork! (I bet you didn’t see that one coming). Yes, I admit it. I love to dance the polka. I have spent hours programming specialized sequences into my ‘Age of Empires’ computer game, and have spent slightly less time programming my graphing calculator to display the opening lines from Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax. I am obsessed with Monty Python, and have of my own volition memorized the scripts for many of my favorite scenes. The only periodicals I read on a regular basis are ‘Discovery’ and ‘Wired’ magazines. However, this is enough said about myself.
To begin this account I wanted to give you a basic definition of the word dork. However, to my horror and dismay, when I attempted to look it up in the Webster’s Third New International Dictionary it was no where to be found. In this tome of 2662 pages, with countless thousands of words, it went right from dorism (Dorian character, manner, or speech) to dorking (an English breed of large domestic fowls having five toes or the hind toe double), without stopping to devote a meager sentence to the word dork. Nor was it in Roget’s II: The New Thesaurus. So, given this lack of a definition, I shall attempt to write one myself. Dork: N. A person who exhibits uncommon, unusual, and possibly unpopular traits, characteristics, interests, passions, or talents.
Where does one find a dork? Dorks are everywhere, and take on many forms, from the student patiently programming her graphing calculator, to the person quoting entire portions of Monty Python’s The Life of Brian to anyone who cares to listen. Dorks are often made fun of, and called names such as “nerd,