Well damn, here we are at J's very first journal here. So sometimes I feel like I have no life in all honesty, because my friends are for the most part just girls, and before I moved I might have a person (boy or girl) over to my house to hang out, but since I moved 2+ years ago I have yet to have anyone over, and not been invited to a guy's house here yet :( Sometimes I do get hung up on trying to have a social life, and even get a bit manipulative and try to think of all the ways I can get in with X and Y group, but then I also think of how much I really don't relate to straight guys here, they're not sport fanatics, but I just dont know all the stuff to talk to them about. Most of them I just see as too shallow and judgemental. Even though it's multicultural and diverse canada, a lot of kids comment badly on gays, and 24/7 if anything bad goes down or it's somthing negative, someone'll say 'that's gay' or what a fag or something. Not meaningfully hate towards gay people, but I mean at this point I just get bothered by it, I mean, what happened to 'stupid' or 'lame'? Sometmes I also question how university and after High School will work out. Will I get into Med School? Will Toronto be the place for it and will I have the gay life I want there? I can imagine allt he fun clubbing and gay college buds and even straight roomates, but when I try to think it out, how the hell is it all happening? I can afford it and whatnot, but where am I meeting these gay buds, who am I going clubbing with; who will I go on my first gay date with? I love that you are still reading and have to say I love you whoever you are wherever you are because sometimes I need to be told that and maybe you do too right now, or it'll just be good, so I really like you for reading this and love you if you leave a comment too. Laterdays...