I am going to read this at a peace event at school in a couple weeks. I'd love comments.
Children,
Raise your hands, to God on High
Weapons drawn, shall prophecy
Lives lost in vain
Hallowed Be Thy Name
United States, lies without shame
Sons,
I swear to you this day
Patriots,
oil-stained
Vultures
Say Democracy's the name of the game
For false idealism,
Is W to blame?
Paul and Dick and Bertie, too
Civil rights, who cares, do you?
Prisoners trapp'd in ruthless cord
Lynndie, cigarette-lipped country child
Service, torture, not on own accord
Trial, jury, Ken Lay on Texas coach
Wife making lemonade as Martha Stewart
Scoffs
In the kitchen
Just got footcuff off
Wonders 'bout Ken
Thinks 'd look good in
Orange
But wears instead
Royal Blue
Trinity of Death
Nuclear Proliferation
Incineration
Homosexualization
False Promise
No Promise
robertson, falwell
Pray for souls
Cleaner than own
DIRTY Minds
DIRTY Hearts
wash yourself
god has learned
on TV
turned on
the end is coming
soft chuckle
give the boys a show
make life pretty
trees grow, flowers
christian right shit fit
oh no, Happy day
lambast Hillary
god hates smart women
too
finally
shut off
wake up
life immutable
souls together
we are coming
peace will happen
just deal
now
Comments
Silly PolySciMC, the only way
Silly PolySciMC, the only way to peace is through war! After all, how can you expect to win a
War on TerrorGlobal Struggle Against Extremismerr Long War? Wars require losses of life. Sure, we may not have a discernable enemy yet, but that's what this Long War is for. We'll find out sooner or later who we're fighting. We'll catch Osama, we just need to go after those who perpetrated 9/11 first! What's that you say? Osama was the one in charge of 9/11?[/sarcasm] Good for you!
I LOVE this bit: "christia
I LOVE this bit:
"christian right shit fit
oh no, Happy day
lambast Hillary
god hates smart women
too"
Suberb
Subebr. I loved it
"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suf-fer-ing"
I like the style of this a lo
I like the style of this a lot, but I'm not sure I like the message, or maybe I just don't understand it.
Don't get me wrong, I want peace, too, and I love the way you've written this. It's just that "souls together" doesn't seem to blend exactly with encouraging polarization and prejudice against Republicans.
Are you hanging on to something useless just because you think it's beautiful?
--William Zinsser
Thanks...
When I wrote "souls together", I imagined a large group of all different kinds of people, from those you might find in declining Midwestern farm towns, to so-called "city folk", all united against the separation of the government from its citizens' concerns.
I am conveying the fact that the only way to end the cynicism, the bigotry, corruption, the destruction of our rights and those in other countries, is by banding together against it. This is an American ode, a call to viable action against mental subjugation.
My piece is not sympathetic to the Republican cause, because there is no reason to be so. However, to say that my poem encourages "polarization and prejudice against Republicans" is a bit more than hyperbolic. If it comes off as such to a few people, so be it.
I hope this has cleared things up a bit. Have a great week, and thank you for your opinion!
Peace Out :)
"War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands."
-H. L. Mencken