Wow. Oh, wow. Oh wow-o-wow-o-wow! OK. Guess I should tell you why I'm so insanely happy.

Well, in LA, the clss MM sits behind me. Something touched my back. Now most people would have assumed it was the end of a pencil slipping off MM's binder behind me, but I got shivers and knew instantly it was Her. She traced a little star, identical to the ones covering my binder, twice onto the back of my shoulder. Major inner-fluttery action there lmao

Then about ten minutes later I was writing what I was thinking - Jealous of MM's boyfriend, she cares about him, she should care about ME, blah blah blah... I held it up to examine my finished rant and she tapped me on the shoulder - "What's that?" "Nothing." Casual. I folded it and shoved it in my binder. "It had my name on it, I really want to see it." Three minutes of "Are you sure?" "Yes I'm sure!" later, I caved and let her read it. Triple-heart-attack moment brought to you by confessing feelings for a crush.

She laughed a bit at the beginning, where I'd been dissing the teacher. Then her smile faltered, (I assume she was reading "Thinking of MM makes me sad"), then her face was serious (this would've been me saying I hated seeing her sad). Then, no doubt reading the jealousy part, she murmered "Oh, honey" several times in a low voice that only I heard. I've gotten used to listening carefully to her after about 6 months of giggling and joking during the National Anthem in homeroom. Before we could really say anything about it, it was REALLY time to go. The next class was coming in. "We're being overrun!" "Retreat! Men, retreat!" "They've got us outnumbered!" We're always joking around.

After school, she passed me a note. I read it, smiled slightly, and pocketed it. I didn't really say much to her after that. I was busy laughing at people and learning the definition of a mosh pit and laughing at people more and sneaking glances at Her Boyfriend (plotting his demise), and laughing at people because they fell down, and being picked up because I'm tiny, and ... You get the point. General friendly chaos.

Then she was leaving. She gave someone a hug and I didn't even realise I was watching but I was watching. Then she was giving me a Look, I can't describe it, maybe imploring? Taunting? Not sure. It's planted in my brain, I know what it meant, but I dunno the words for it. "What?" I asked, faking stupidity (I'm good at that. I don't like showing I'm smart or perceptive. I'd rather be dumb and invisible. Odd choice I know). She raised her arms a little (heart, melt, danger!) and said "You know you want to." Still that smirky friendly expression thing going on. I tried not to seem too into the idea. She knew, but no one else did or could. So I walk over (a little faster than I would've were she anyone else) and put my arms around her.

Music! Bells! Alarms! SIRENS! Eek!! :D

I was about to pull away, thinking, this is a friendly thing and should probably be over now. But she had other plans. She pulled me closer and nuzzled her head into my shoulder. At this point I know I was grinning like an idiot. Just hope Her Boyfriend didn't notice. Then it was over. Were I alone, I would've been skipping and laughing and spinning and giggling. But I wasn't so I didn't. Stayed calm and smiled faintly.

As I walked home, I re-read the note, outloud. "I'm in BBT right now *heehee* and I can get in deep shit if I'm writing a not. Well not really but still. I do care about you babe. I was actually happy that you ate something today. [she means lunch] Oh god I almost got in shit... *sigh of relief* good he's gone. Stop being so jealous lol! Alot of people are jealous I don't need another one... thanks for letting me read your thing in L.A. is that what you do all the time? Well I have to go have fun with my computer" and a sarcastic smiley face.

I read part of it out loud about seventeen times before it REALLY made sense. "I do care about you babe"! So she may not feel as strongly for me as I do her, but she does care. Skippity woo hoo! Someday, someday...