Fing sucky church day- sermon was great,but youth group was boring. It was seriously like tourture. I found out that one of the problems our youth group leader wants to be helped with by God is not being patient with his dogs. Oy. Watched Desperate Housewives. Funny show-Gabriella is hot. I was lying, probably not purposefully, when I said I only had one out of my three types of days per day. Some days, I feel like I really am a guy. some days, I have no idea in hell what I am, and some days I wonder what it would be like to be a normal girl. They often switch. At this current moment I’m of the mind that I am a boy. Why do I think this? I have no idea. I wish the inner recesses of my conscious would give up the answer.
Boys and girls are made differently, scientists have proved that. So why do I feel like this? Why do I want to be a boy? Should I just shut up and just do what my proscribed gender role is? Should I try girl stuff? Is it wrong that I don’t want to try girl stuff? I wonder if I’m intersexed. I wonder what the probability of being intersexed is-maybe one out of a couple hundred thousand or something? I will go look that up now. Mom is 6 days sober, I feel pretty great about it, but I don’t really want to believe if because if I do, and she drinks again I will really fall apart.