"Apple Cider"

I sat there in the kitche talking to her on the phone. Drinkine apple cider reading the book. Talking to her ...but thinking of you. No one else but you. Why? I hat you. Every time i think about you i want to close my eyse and cut my wrist. Something to get you off my mind. But yet all i do is think about you. I talk to you everyday. Almost everyday should i say. So i sit there talking to her drinking apple cider reading the book thinking of you no one else but you. The show comes off. I turn it off. THen the song comes on. That emotion comes along. And that tear streams down down my face because it reminds me of that moment we had. Do you remember that moment? You and I...Beautiful. So i take a sip of my apple cider and she asks if im okay and acting strong because remember i have to be for you and my baby girl i say yes. I put the apple cider down and begin to read more of my book. She keeps talking. I make her so happy. I dont know how or why. You are the one who makes me happy. The song slowly fades out and i wipe away that tear that has run down my soft pale cheeck. IM so glad she is not here to see me like this. It will kill her. IM glad you nor here either. You would just wonder why. But then agin i need you to hold me in your arms. I put the book back down and look at my apple cider its slowly cooling down. I take the last sips of it. I look in the bottom of the glass. Thats all. She tells me her mom has to use the phone and she'll call me tommorow. She hangs up. I finish the book. Everything ended. The show, the song, the book, the phone convo. and even the cider. Then you call....I put another pot of water on for some more apple cider.....

Dont ask me where that came from. yes some of this is true. sept she never called. My girl never called. it all eneded. oh well. so what are you up to? no good most likely... lol. naw im pickin. well i dont have much to day i ve been on for a very long time tonight im thinking about gettin off here soon. i love you all. well im out.....

KASEY J