Just the line of a song I've been kicking around in my head. I literally write tons of songs in my head, instrumental accompaniement and everything. But I can't sing (I can sing from a middle D to a middle G...badly), and can't really play any instruments. Fooling around on my keyboard does not count. I suck.
Anyways, today we got out for Thanksgiving break, and had our Thanksgiving liturgy today. These are usually quite dull, spent in uncomfortable wooden chairs and reading leaflets with too many typos to count. And singing along to bad Christian new age hymns. But the part that got me down was that the priest, in the sermon, talked about how someday we'll all grow up and commit ourselves in marriage. This just made me really depressed, I know it's dumb, but it did. "I'm not getting married, people get sick at the idea of my marrying, and the government is going to make that constitutional." I want to make some woman happy someday, to be loved by her, to raise children together. How much different is that from heterosexuals?
I seriously want to get a t-shirt that says "Heterosexuals are so straight." Though some people might get offended, lol.
Yesterday, Rose and I got into another debate on the causes of homosexuality. I really tried not to say to much (because I might cry and blow up), but just listened to what she had to say. Which I was left very confused by. She kept on saying that it's important to know the cause, and called homosexuality "inclinations". Why? Heterosexuals don't know what makes them heterosexual, they just accept it and are. This morning I was thinking about it, and had a wonderful comeback.
"You think I haven't tried making myself straight? I have, and rather than making one man's life miserable, I'd rather enrich one woman's life."
Next time she'll bring this up I'll say this, I'll declare it in front of everyone! I love women and no one, specially not myself, can stop me.
I've stopped censoring what I say lately. Yesterday I was fantasizing about those French girls in the last Harry Potter (collectively, they were hot...*drools*. Ew, now I have to clean that up), and I was spacing out. I was asked why, and I said, "I was thinking of those French girls..." *giggles* "Wow."
Okay, if you hear that and still think I'm straight, you are nuts! But I don't want to have to smack people over the head saying, "I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay!" I'm just being myself, and if they get up the courage to ask I'll tell them.
I'm just so thankful I can be comfortable with myself now, love women for the wonderful beings that they are, enjoy them body and soul! Sorry if I sound gushy and sappy, but it's true. Just this morning I saw some wonderful girls walking through the halls and I just thought, "Wow, I'm in a school surrounded by beautiful women!" It's truly wonderful.
Anyways, I shall quit assailing you with my happiness and go get some cookies. Because I'm hungry.