its like 30 degrees out..so um yes it is a bit crisp :)so in news...or rather the news of my life....i am happy...well in a few ways and crazy in another few....

i am happy because it just so happens i know this amazing person who makes my heart flutter just as it did 6 months ago when i first spoke to her....5 months ago when i first heard her voice....and about 2 months ago when she first looked into my eyes and made my knees collapse...and my heart tremble so hard i thought it would fall out of place.......anyways i got to see her again...and it just makes me gush to think about her **** and what makes it even better is that there was multitudes of awesome company as well- it wasnt just her that made my stay fun and a time in my life i will never forget- i think this part of my life will be well remembered........no matter what the outcome....

anyways yeah so now i am smiling alot and i feel all gushy andi think that its crazy how things work out* for the longest time i felt so alone screwed and thought no one would ever understand me but right now i have many that understand me...my mom is now my biggest support and i thought that would never happen...i remember a time when my biggest fear was her finding out and now my biggest fear is letting her down in other ways...she wants the best for me and so she supports me in my endeavors and just keeps me in line... i love her** and i respect her so much - i wish this feeling of acceptance for everyone because it just feels so good to have such a burden taken of my shoulders- moreover my grandmother on my mothers side now knows - my mom told her and shes even more ok with it...in fact she might be more comfortable than my mom was at the same stage- she actually looked at my pics and referred to her as "esta linda la chica-guapa"....to which i blushed profusely.....gah......anyways so yes..then theres my growing circle of gay friends/contacts i find the more people i am comfortable talking to abou it the better i feel ....it feels so good to be me...and not worry about slipping up.now if i could only tell my brother, k, and m - those are my next targets....they are on my hit list....

so then theres school..which i care about but not really*** next week might as well be my final week cause i have all my big projects going on** 2 huge presentations, and a physics quiz ...then friday i am driving to clemson with some friends to visit my friend...for the weekend...

i think that the weekend is destined to be remembered because by then all the pain will be over and i will be in FUCK IT MODE....so yeah i am looking forward to some good times i.e. bull riding and drunk line dancing..hahhaha...good times hopefully everything will work out till then.....

well for now thats it i think ..

cnn* :)