Online Relationships: Not safe and Unstable

Jerry's picture

Okay, a few people on oasis have been dating. I thought this issue needed to be brought up. I was going out with someone on here. I understand that you want to go out with someone and feel loved by someone. Online relationships are not the right thing. They have made me hurt and I am just look out for all of you.

The first harm area of online dating is an unconfirmed identity. First of all you could be dating a total freak or pervert. It is not sensible to start a relationship without knowing this person in real life. At least talk on the phone a bit send plenty of pictures etc. TRUTH: People online are not like themselves in real life. That love letter that you see on the screen can not be expressed to your face. They could be lieing right in front of your face, although you have no idea because you can't see them or hear them. Someone online that you might think is a badass, arrogant, rebel could be the exact opposite person you are looking for.

The second harm area of online dating is not being able to have physical contact. When you love someone, you want to be with them. You want to cuddle with them or make love. Online dating limits that. When you listen to them it makes you want them more. It caused a lot of trauma for me, and eventually if you are in one, it will cause a lot for you.

The third harm area of online dating is putting a stop to outside social life. Your social life outside gets ruined when you are online talking to someone you haven't met. I used to wake up early, get to bed late, cancel social trips, etc. and that got me glued to the computer even more. The Internet and computer causes people to become anti-social and more aware. Frankly I believe that ignorance is bliss, and the people that are totally oblivious are the happiest. It is suprising, but hapiness is hard to find when you aren't looking. You could find a soulmate outside of the internet. Just go look. Make friends. Give it time. Thee is no easy way to find LGBT people (unless you live in provincetown mass.) It is hard for all of us not just you.

The final harm area is no trust. The Internet does not let you build trust with your partner. Your partner could be cheating on you with billy under the bleachers and using you for fun!!!

The computer and internet dating put a lot of stress on your daily life. Do not let it ruin yours.

(If I missed anything that anyone would like to add please do! anything constructive is needed)

~Jerry

Comments

Dakota's picture

excuse me but i am dating som

excuse me but i am dating someone online and most of thes things dont apply to me! and if you talk on the phone and see pics and visit its fine!

How can we accuratly describe our feelings in words?
We can't

Patch's picture

Fine for you, but don't tell

Fine for you, but don't tell others how to live their lives. At the moment I am very content with my online relationship. Who are you to step in and say that it is invalid? Just cuz you had a bad experience doesn't mean everyone else will. Plus, that "they could be lying to you" stuff is just as possible online as it is in real life.

Plus you overlook the benefits. For me, finding boyfriends in my area is hell. Knowing that I have someone, though they may live miles away, who loves me and wishes me happiness gives me so much confidence in my daily life, that I would not have were it not for him.

And getting attached to the computer? No offense, but that was all YOU. You were the one who made the choice to cancel social outings, etc. Me and Dakota are much better about that. If one of us is going somewhere for awhile, we tell eachother. And if we forget, we explain our absence afterwards. Just last night I went to a concert. How did my relationship to Dakota inhibit that?

You have every right to talk about your relationship, get the bad feelings out. But as I said above, don't then go and say that just cuz it didn't work out for you means it fails everywhere.

"What is the purpose of life? It is to create our own purpose."

Jerry's picture

I can't wait to see how long

I can't wait to see how long you guys last
that is if you don't visit...

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Lost Angry Youth's picture

dude , why are you being such

dude , why are you being such a HATER?
you sound like one of my jealous girlfriends
(:

Jerry's picture

You know what ghosba why dont

You know what ghosba why dont you try and find a guy in your area instead of sit on your fat ass...

no offense do you dakota but you have known him for like 2 months
If you really loved him you would want to protect him and be with him and it is worthwhile to sit on the computer.

Why dont you give those guys a chance!
I guess you are too good for them right?!

AND IM NOT TELLING YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR STUPID FUCKING LIFE
I COULD CARE LESS BECAUSE I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU
THIS IS A SUGGESTION AND A POINT OF VIEW YOU FUCK HOLE

F U

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Patch's picture

If you didn't care, why write

If you didn't care, why write a whole essay on it? Seems to me you care at least a little...

And sorry, didn't know you were so sensitive to criticism. At least I had the curtesy to refrian from profanity. Just goes to show what kind of person you are.

"What is the purpose of life? It is to create our own purpose."

Jerry's picture

Im not I asked for construct

Im not
I asked for constructive and what you put in front of me is what you say is a load of bull and I dont have to listen because I know my relationship is going well

bladee blaadee bla

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Patch's picture

oh, so you expected all feedb

oh, so you expected all feedback to be positive? Yeah, learn a lesson, not everyone agrees/likes you. I learned that the hard way. Next time you write something like this, be mature enough to handle the fact that people will tell you that you are wrong.

"What is the purpose of life? It is to create our own purpose."

Jerry's picture

I dont care about you I care

I dont care about you I care more about Dakota
and other people that might consider it

You are less fragile than him
please mind him and his feelings
and the online dating okay!?

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Lost Angry Youth's picture

it's fun but it should never

it's fun but it should never take the place of an actual
relationship or actual social interactions.

anyone in the right mind would already know that.

you can't always judge a book by it's cover, that nice guy
could be a silent killer and the big mean guy wearing all black
might be the nicest person in the world.
you just never know and online it paints even more illusions
and idealations of whomever you are talking to.

it's works for some and it dosen't work for others.
but i don't think that it just dosen't work period.
it just takes common sense and a reality check and
to accept it for what it is without getting ahead of yourself.

P.S.
if talking shit and being arrogant online means being a "rebel"
to you then , you have alot to learn
(:

Jerry's picture

they are just examples I lea

they are just examples
I learned this from my own expierience
Im not telling you to automatically break up
just take it into thought
okay?!

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Patch's picture

Well, what you said did seem,

Well, what you said did seem, at least to me, to try and invalidate a relationship like mine and Dakota's. Maybe you didn't mean it that way, but that is how I took it, sorry.

"What is the purpose of life? It is to create our own purpose."

Jerry's picture

its okay lets all hug lol

its okay lets all hug lol

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Sesshoumaru s male lover's picture

ok hug Cogito Ergo Sum

ok hug
Cogito Ergo Sum

Lost Angry Youth's picture

i'll skip the hugs but you ca

i'll skip the hugs but you can give me a blow job
(:

Jerry's picture

thats okay I'm going to hug y

thats okay I'm going to hug you

*force hug*

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Lost Angry Youth's picture

is it a "forced hug" from beh

is it a "forced hug" from behind?..
because i think you are sporting MAJOR WOOD
(:
..as a matter of fact i KNOW you are sporting a major woody
it pressed up against my ass
(:
eewwwwww..

Jerry's picture

okay umm did you have to say

okay umm did you have to say that

that is gross I was just messing
*rolls eyes*
--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Lost Angry Youth's picture

messing as in you just mess y

messing as in you just mess your pants?
(:

Lost Angry Youth's picture

why do always apologize for y

why do always apologize for yourself?
what the hell is wrong with you?!
(:

Lost Angry Youth's picture

if you can't handle actual re

if you can't handle actual relationships then you have no
buisness looking for one online
(:
if you are waking up early , canceling social interactions,
and not going out just to stay home and chat
online with your boyfriend..then maybe it's a problem
(:
i really would rather have a person then a keybored and screen
but thats just me
(:

Jerry's picture

umm thankyou for proving my p

umm thankyou for proving my point...
its hard to find a boyfriend
and I just wasnt looking
I was hoping for an easy route to love

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Sesshoumaru s male lover's picture

I can kind of see what you ar

I can kind of see what you are getting at here.I know it didn't work for me,but It still could one day.
Cogito Ergo Sum

Jerry's picture

Tyler I am your jealous girlf

Tyler I am your jealous girlfriend
MROWWW
MROWWW
HISS HISS!

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Lost Angry Youth's picture

well,i am glad you see that i

well,i am glad you see that i wear the pants in this relationship
(:
..now go make me a sandwhich woman!

(:

Jerry's picture

Puurr *wips pants around a

Puurr

*wips pants around and does crazy whore dance*

Yeah!!!!
mrow!!! kitty kitty likey likey you! mrow!!!!!

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Sesshoumaru s male lover's picture

and who is this crazy whore d

and who is this crazy whore dance for?
Cogito Ergo Sum

Lost Angry Youth's picture

hey hows it going "the shitty

hey hows it going "the shitty"?

Sesshoumaru s male lover's picture

I'm fine how are you psycho?

I'm fine how are you psycho?
Cogito Ergo Sum

Lost Angry Youth's picture

you are far from fine you'r

you are far from fine
you're not even okay
(:

Patch's picture

its for tyler apparently.

its for tyler apparently.

"What is the purpose of life? It is to create our own purpose."

Lost Angry Youth's picture

that must be some good CRACK

that must be some good CRACK you are on
(:
..i want a hit
(:

Jerry's picture

okay I was just messing aroun

okay I was just messing around with the whore dance
I just thought It was funny
lol Im guessing everyone took it seriously....

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Lost Angry Youth's picture

..i would've just kept rollin

..i would've just kept rolling with it
(:
it wasn't funny but it was original
(:
dude, you know you actually did it-don't lie!
LOL!

Jerry's picture

bleh

im never hugging you again perve o.o

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Lost Angry Youth's picture

so you use me and leave me?..

so you use me and leave me?...
what a jerk!
(:

Jerry's picture

yeah bitch that means no more

yeah bitch that means no more kitty whore dances!!!!!!
*growl*

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Lost Angry Youth's picture

thank god... you did us all

thank god...
you did us all a favor
(:

Sesshoumaru s male lover's picture

I want a kitty whore dance.

I want a kitty whore dance.
Cogito Ergo Sum

Lost Angry Youth's picture

..just look in the mirror and

..just look in the mirror and start dancing
(:
you are one shitty quitty
(:

Sesshoumaru s male lover's picture

What do mean by the last part

What do mean by the last part? are you actualy tring to be nice?
Cogito Ergo Sum

Lost Angry Youth's picture

me be nice? now THATS sarcas

me be nice?
now THATS sarcasm
(:

Sesshoumaru s male lover's picture

That is true,but you do seem

That is true,but you do seem to be getting there.
Cogito Ergo Sum

Jerry's picture

sorry this is my off hour

sorry this is my off hour

I give kitty whore dances in a few hours

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Lost Angry Youth's picture

i think "the shitty" has a th

i think "the shitty" has a thing for those dances
(:

Sesshoumaru s male lover's picture

I like anything that can get

I like anything that can get me horny.
Cogito Ergo Sum

Lost Angry Youth's picture

in that case, you would LOVE

in that case,
you would LOVE me
(:

Sesshoumaru s male lover's picture

bitch Cogito Ergo Sum

bitch
Cogito Ergo Sum

Jerry's picture

no kitty dances for you!!!

no kitty dances for you!!!

--------------
HATE is a strong word, but so is LOVE

Sesshoumaru s male lover's picture

what if I use force? Cogito

what if I use force?
Cogito Ergo Sum