Being out to my family really isn't enough-I still feel so...pissy. I got home today and found out I had left my Algebra II book at school. Now, instead of being mildly annoyed, I practically began sobbing. It's just a homework assignment worth 5 points that I needed to do! Yet my world ended.
I hate people having this false perseption of me, of not being honest with the wrold. For years I lied to myself and those around me about liking guys, it's time to stop being a hypocrit. I mean, my family should have taught me the dangers of that!
My grandad's gay...and still married to my grandmother. Why? Who the Hell knows. He grew up hating himself, I guess-being gay in the forties must have been horrible. So he lead a life with a horrible marriage and bad relationships, and the repercutions of this have affected even me. Just, it makes me want to change it all.
But I also don't want to get hurt. I spent years in middle school being bullied, which was...the worst time of my life.
Being gay, I mean, I wish people could just accept it as normal. Why must the US be so weird about it, Chrisitianity in particular? My mind wishes people would just see it as a non-issue, but people will. Because I go to a Catholic school, and teenage girls are immature sometimes. I mean, people go "ew" when I mention condoms. They're condoms, people!
However, I have a cold, which commonly inhibits lucidity in my scrambled brain, so this may make no sense.
But I'm still moody, pissy, and generally morose.