So, as I said in my last entry, there's a boy who likes me, and I think I like him, too. :/
We went out this weekend and had a good time. He knows that I'm gay, and he knows that I like him, and it's all kind of absurd, but I'm trying to make it work. We're trying to make it work.
We talked about how upset and confused he would be if he liked a guy, and we talked about how I might not be able to handle this. He said he hopes I don't have to bail (obviously) but it's okay if I do, and we'll be friends.
I hate this, but I also love it. That is, I hate that this is is so fucked up and confusing, but I'm also all giddy and giggly and excited.
I'm home sick from school today. It's no fun.
He likes me and I like him but I'm worried that that's not enough, somehow. (What else is there?)
My mother says that the reason this is so stressful and confusing is that I'm not ready for a "big old relationship." Maybe she's right. I'm scared that there's something wrong with me; that's it's not that I'm too young, but that I'm just incapable.
I think that this is mostly in my head.
I think that this is going to be okay.