Grr. . .None of the guys I personally know are calling me or ansering my calls. Or my e-mails. Part of me says fuck 'em, anothers says WTF DID I DO WRONG?!? *slams head on table*. I feel so out of it. My only contact with the outside is through the window that is my computer screen. Why haven't I found love yet, why doesn't my own family not hug, or touch me at all? It's wierd, I've had no physsical contact with anyone, besides my cat (goddess bless her). I haven't given a serious to kiss to anyone in MONTHS. To just hold another guy's hand would be SOOOOOO wonderful. But men aren't that way. Maybe I should just become a lesbian (lol).
I want to be held, hugged, pecked on the cheek, I want some LOVE. Is that so so so much to ask? Why are worthwhile guys so hard to find? The men on this site are all cool, it's just the guys who live around me. Bah, I am soooo tired of this shit.
Comments
Ha, my friend robert identifi
Ha, my friend robert identifies as a lesbian (no he's not transgender he just had a really shitty relationship with a girl)
I get that feeling sometimes, but I have two cats vying for my attention....
Frustration sucks, hope things look up for you.
The sun is shining out of my hands
it can burn, it can blind you
when it breaks out of the fists
it lays down hotly on your face
it lays down painfully on your chest
balance is lost
it lets you go hard to the floor
and the world counts loudly to ten
tyler says hi!
i think it's cool that you are soo true to your feelings,
i read your journel and to me you seem really sweet.
i know alot of guys around here-myself and my friends included-
that shy away from any kind of real affection towards one another-i personally believe it's from being soo conditioned to
be tough,strong and emotionally cold, from our fathers,media ,
socitey. and we are soo scared , as "men" to show any real feeings
and affection towards one another other then smacking one
another on the shoulder- "it's okay man, lets grab a beer!"...
only to realize when we are older that a real man..
does whatever the fuck he wants to!!
don't worry-
you will meet someone one day that will love you just the
way you want to be loved (:"
~NUTT LICKER!~
Ghosba says hi back!
Awww, thanks for the sweet words. I know I have fought with you in the past, but deep down, I like how you spice up your own life, I admire you ability to not take all the shit. Sigh, I wish I had a guy who was as deep and intune with the reality of our society as you are.
So, in the spirit of being playful;
*GHOSBA KISSES TYLER ON LIPS!! SERIOUS MAKEING OUT!!*
How's that for not shying away from affection ;D
"What is the purpose of life? It is to create our own purpose."
Well...
Without detail, hard to assess the "why" of it all...
But, there seems to be little hope that just because you find four guys who share your geography you will necessarily find love.
Personally, when I look back at my failed love life, I think I spent far too much time focusing on being a half, that no one ever had a whole to be attracted to, if that makes sense? Like, you talk about what you want from them, but not what you are giving to them.
Hmm, I'm not thinking too deeply tonight, so for my example, I have to go to a wedding ceremony for whatever reason. I've been to a lot of ceremonies where they us candles to tell this story. When the ceremony begins, there are two candles and an unlit candle between them. Once they are married, they take the individual candles and light the one in the middle.
The one in the middle represents their shared relationship, but you need all three candles to remain lit for it to work. You need to nearly get to the point of not needing a relationship to become ready for one, I think. Otherwise, it gets too much weight in your life, too much eagerness, and there is a risk of crushing its fragile nature with your enthusiasm.
Of course, half of the weddings I've been to, this ceremony has gone horribly wrong, with the people lighting the candle blowing out the initial two after the main one was lit. Which, of course, is the flip side of where you are now, but still something to be mindful of.
Yeah, I have stuff to offer,
Yeah, I have stuff to offer, it's just no one cares :(
And about getting relationships? half the time people say you have to put yourself out there, the other says wait for it, so I have no fucking clue. It's like I am torn in two. One half says, "I don't need love," the other says "But I'm so lonely!"
Grrr. why does my life suck so?
"What is the purpose of life? It is to create our own purpose."
Men
Don't worry so much. Just be yourself, and if they don't like you then fuck'm. Your to good for them. You'll find someone soon. I can feel it.