As I walked away from Parker I felt like I was going to be sick. Like really, physically ill. I couldn’t believe I had just let that spill. I had totally not meant to let anything come out, at all. But it had, and it had messed things up.
It was just that I had so many strong emotions for Parker that I didn’t know what to do with them. I hadn’t felt this way about anyone else, ever. And the worst part was, I didn’t even tell Parker everything. I had only told her a small portion of what I felt for her. But what did I feel for her exactly?
I couldn’t even answer that question. Was it love? It was probably some form of it, but I honestly didn’t even know. I just knew that I had probably messed things up between Parker and me. Shit!
Well maybe I could just go back and apologize, I thought. I could just say that it had been such a bad day and I didn’t know what I was doing. Well that wasn’t a good excuse. Oh well, I thought, I’m gonna go back anyway. I figured I could think of something logical by the time I got back to the training facility.
By the time I burst through the doors to the building I still didn’t know what I was going to say. I just knew I couldn’t leave things unfinished with Parker like I had. I really had no idea where to find her, so I just looked in every workout room I could find. I even looked in some random rooms just to see if she was there.
There was barely anyone around, probably because it was snowing and a Sunday. I only saw a couple people in the weight rooms, and like no one in the hallways. Everyone I did see was on their way out. Normally, I might have taken this to be a sign that I shouldn’t be here, and I should leave too. But this wasn’t normally, I wasn’t being normal. I was going on instinct, and that would have to do.
I was so filled emotions still, it surprised me. I had such an urge to find Parker and be with her still. I found the doors to the girl’s locker room and went in. I went down the hallway and found myself in an open locker and changing area. There were rows and rows of lockers with benches dispersed evenly between them. I saw a bent figure on one of the benches.
The figure was sitting with her head in her hands in nothing but a sports bra and sweat pants. I knew it was Parker. I could see her strong, defined back and arm muscles tensed as she sat. Damn she was so sexy without a shirt on. No, stop, not why you came here, I told myself. She heard me come in and looked up.
Oh my God, could I be more stupid. Not only had I just accidentally just spilled some of my most deepest thoughts about her to her, I had now just walked in on her half naked. Not that I didn’t like the sight, but this was not how I had pictured this scene coming about. I felt so embarrassed. I brought my hand up to my eyes so I wouldn’t look at her and tried to say what I had come here to say.
All that came out was an intelligent “Ummm.