i know how you feel...to an extent. everyones experiences are different. but still, maybe and this may sound funny, but maybe you should check out a book store or something? im sorry your going through this i know it must be difficult...
poetry tiff

" Such sights as youthful poets dream
On summer eve by haunted stream."
-John Milton
"To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour."
-William Blake