why does life have to be so hard? why do we have to deal with love, and life, and loss. i can't loose
her, i can't. i know it sounds strange, but i can't. i depend on her too much. just to keep me in
school. everything is for her. she doesn't know it, but it is. every breath i take, i'm wishing
i was taking it with her. i don't get it... we call it love, but what is it? i want to protect her,
i want to make everything better for her. but i can't. that wouldn't be right. it sounds trite, but
i love her to much to let her go. goddess... why does she trust me, and hate herself for trusting
me? i wish she would believe me when i tell her to not tell me that it's stupid to trust people. yes,
sometimes that is true. like her mother. but sometimes it's okay. i can't put into words how much
it means to me that she trusts me. me! her support system/shoulder to punch. and now we can say we
love eachother. wow...

bulldyke