What a week. Now I've really got myself caught between a rock and a hard place, though not the hard place I want to be at. I really am feeling more for my current crush (I'll call him Jake) than I've been feeling for the ones in the past, I think, and this has motivated me to write my first gay story. The story should be posted shortly, called "My first night with Jake".
Jake continued the nipple play in the other two physics lessons I had this week, with me reciprocating. We certainly weren't doing it all the time, but it was great when we were. The longest his hand was on me was maybe seven seconds. The trouble is I only have him in physics, which means only three times a week. Another problem is that we don't hang around one another that much, and I haven't come up with much of an excuse to hang out with him more.
Then there is the question of my trying to advance this whole thing. Statistically, it's pretty hopeless. But then, how many guys would do what he does? So assume that Jake is bisexual or gay. I can imagine that he's only going to experiment and figure this out in university.
Even if he is willing to do it here, and with me, then I need to figure out where this is going to go. I would like to get to know him better, but I realise that what attracts me to him is really that he has sex appeal. I don't have a problem losing my virginity to this guy, since I don't really value virginity that much. But if I don't draw the line at sex, then I'm going against a law which risks 20 years. I would like to just get to know him better, but that's really not what I'm after.
So, my end-goal at the moment is to get laid by him, but I don't know how to achieve that goal safely. My parents go catatonic every time I bring up my promise not to mention to anyone that I'm gay till I'm in university. So I continue here, burning with desire, trying to put it all to something useful like writing this story.