I'm finally 18.. I definetely need to go to a gay bar/club! But with who?? No one knows I'm into girls, and I don't know anyone else who's into girls either.. Maybe I can convince one of my straight friends to come hehe. Anyway I might just go to some gay friendly places ay. I might be able to get my driving license soon which will be awesome, but not so great as well since I don't have my own car :\ I wanna get one of those cool vintage cars, they excite me.
Oh yeah something funny happened again, the other day I was hanging out with these 4 guys and we were just outside on the side of the road right. Then this car pulls up a few metres away and four girls get out of the car. One of the guys in our group says "Hey, perfect, there are four of us and four of them". And then my friend goes as a joke, "Oh nah that's not fair, what about Karen? (me) She misses out". We all laugh, but I'm actually thinking yeah that isn't really fair. Then the other guy says "Oh do you like girls too do ya?" I just smiled and didn't say anything. I think my friend might know that I like girls because he liked me for ages (dunno if he does still, i hope not) and I was totally not interested in him. And yeah I think he's catching on, I was thinking about coming out to him (would be the first one) but I'm way too terrified..
He's a good guy and everything but I don't think I'm ready to tell anyone yet. He's too nice to me and I feel bad for lying to him, but it's not like I've been leading him on or anything. I'm sometimes even mean to him on purpose so he doesn't get the wrong message! I'm pretty sure I've made it clear that we're just mates..