HI!!!!!!!

so after my post right below this one i thought about it and decided i would go see if my prof was still around...he was in his office and after about 5 minutes of me pacing nervously and trying to see if he was busy i went and said..."hello......um are you busy?" and then hes like no- whats up and im like:

"i just have to say your class helped me alot"...and then i said it i blurted out..

Im gay...

and my voice quivered and everything but it felt so good and so right to tell him...i asked him about spectrum and he said it was great and the net time they meet is next sem when we get back...he said theres a good female part and i was like OH ..yay* in my head..but he was so nice and i feel awesome that i went to talk to him because hes sort of like the mentor type

i even talked to him about my mom a little bit and he said that typically moms seem to take more time to get used to the idea because they tend to feel more responsible for their child....

anyways i could go on forever on what we talked about ...we also laughed about how i had been pacing nervously before i came in and i said that i was going to email him and hes like noo its better that you came in because apparently he had 140 emails he was trying to go through...he siad i made his day because its students that keep him at our college....i told him its people like him that kep kids like me from doing stupid shit and being depressed cause we feel like no one loves us....it was a good conversation that ... the one thing he said that was real cool was :

"Being gay isnt about who you are its about who you love...."

so yes.....im making the steps....*sighs* im so happy.....it feels so good to talk about it with people you know understand...im pumped for spectrum....wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

cnn* :)