Yes, I know I'm posting a lot of journal entries lately... Quite out of character for me. I see it as a good thing. Maybe I'm "getting somewhere," finally?

I'm classifying this entry as "other," because I'm not sure what it is. It's not some of my best writing. It wanders and weaves, but I still want to get it out.

I'm writing an essay for one of my Education courses, "The Adolescent and the Teacher". The topic I chose is "at-risk" youth. Specifically, I'm going to examine how sexual-minority youth can be seen as at-risk youth. My course director has already talked a bit about that, but I'm going to write a long, 8-10 page research essay on it.

I mention this because it's a bit of a preamble to discuss a couple of the books I've looked at for my research essay. One is called Silenced Voices, and it's about gay educators who pretty much have to stay in the closet in Northeastern Florida. It's quite depressing. One of the saddest stories is about a man who lost his significant other after 19 years being together. Well, he didn't just lose him; he was murdered. And, because at school he is supposedly "unattached" (being closeted for fear of losing his job), he had to go in and pretend that nothing was wrong. He had some help from his principal, who knew about him. Still, I can't even imagine how terrible it must have been for him. This book makes me angry.

Another book is called Queer Kids, and it's by Robert Owens Jr. It also has its moments that make me mad, because it's full of youth who have miserable adolescent years because of their sexual orientation. I could talk about some examples, but I won't do that here. I'll just get angrier. Actually, I'm saving that anger for another post. I don't feel too angry now... but I will.

I read some of the stuff in the book, and I was amazed at how it related to me. It was amazing... some parts could have been written with me as the subject! Other parts didn't, because I have never had problems with gender confusion or "gay mannerisms". I was never teased in school, because I never acted "gay". In fact, I still don't. The other thing that I'm lucky about is that I didn't really "know" I was queer in high school. It was always there, but I didn't really start to clue in until University started. The stuff that young people who know they're not straight have to deal with in high school is a real crime. I mean that in the most sincere sense. These religious conservatives and other assorted homophobes are violating human rights in the name of "morality" and "love". But I'm saving that stuff for a later entry that's forthcoming.

Anyway, that book is quite extraordinary. It's amazing. I particularly liked the "Letter to a Queer Kid" section. If any of you need a self-esteem boost (like, to be honest, I needed), it's a great chapter. The rest of the book is also wonderful, though I haven't read it all.

I just had to get that out. It's not my best writing, once again. But, I felt I had, at least, to share this book.

All confused in the head tonight (and in need of a drink... or maybe just some chips, since I'm not an alcoholic),

Daniel