I've been out for three years
ever since I was a freshman
now I'm a senior
and I guess things are better
they are better in my own life anyway
so it's easy to think that they are
But some days, it's not.
Some days things are just kind of scary
because I've forced to look outside my safe little box
a box I worked hard to build, yes
but a box all the same.
Well boxes have doors too
doors like looking at things
from another point of veiw
a friend's point of veiw
someone I care about
who is most definitely not protected by a box
someone who doesn't need doors to see how things really are
because they are living it
days like this I remember that things are not really better
because better doesn't mean shit
when we're remembering a kid who is dead
and I spend 11:11
hoping I don't know whoever is next.

I wrote this on the day we were observing Mathew Sheppard's death. 11:11 is a reference to how usually I make a wish at 11:11, like on the first star you see at night, but without the whole stars thing.... so not at all, really? Also, the title of the post is from a song, not mine, I think it's by Deathcab for Cutie.

I'd really like your thoughts on this, please don't worry about insulting me, I want a really tough critque. That would make me really happy. If nothing else, your thoughts on the punctuation of the piece?

Thanks a lot,
<3 Beryl