I don't understand why this is bothering me soo much. Michelle is straight. I tell myself "get over it." But I can't. Grr. And I'm so frustrated with myself. She's straight, period. There's nothing I can do about it. I'll never get her. So why can't I just stop thinking about her? It's strange how painful this is. This morning I broke down and cried, while Mom hugged me and said "I'm sorry. It's too bad." I was disappointed, like I was expecting her to say something to make everything okay again. Which is stupid. And then I ended up staying home from school because I felt like I was going to throw up. Because I was so upset. Then I slept all day. I even feel mad at my crush. That's so immature. I shouldn't be mad at her. She can't control whether or not she likes girls. No one can. Grrr. I just want to feel better.