Today I discovered that my crush lives next to Hannah!!! Hannah is my best friend's (Katharine) cousin. She's awesome. So she knows my crush. Which means... if I go over to her house (she said I should sometime) we'd probably end up going over to my crush's house (I think she has a farm, actually). Hannah kicks ass. AND Hannah also told me that my crush stood up for gays! Some people were dissing gays and she told them to quit it. I really wish I had the guts to do that. Especially since a lot of people talk crap like that during my gym class. Grrr. But anyways! Then after school, I was standing in my usual spot in the elementary school waiting for my little sister and my crush came through the door and smiled and then she asked me if I had a brother or sister. I said yeah, and she said "I was wondering why you're always standing there." I'm such a dork. I immedeatly thought "Oh my God, maybe she likes me too!" But following that thought was, "Maybe she suspects that I like her, and thinks I stand there just to see her when she walks through the elementary school." I hope she doesn't think that... I hope it's because she likes me too... and I hope I can work up the courage to really actually try to start a conversation with her. I am so in love and I don't even know this girl. She's so incredibly gorgeous I can't stand it. I am trying so hard not to think about this, or get my hopes up, because there's always the possibility that she's straight. Which would really crush me if I got my hopes up too much. But hey, I'm allowed to like someone aren't I? I am so excited and happy and flipping out! After she talked to me today after school, even though it was just a question that she asked, I was so happy that I ran over and hugged my little sister when I saw her and told her there was something important I wanted to share with her. But I ended up not telling her...I was going to tell her that I like girls. I'm still having a hard time deciding whether or not I should tell her. I know I'm going to tell her sometime, obviously, but I have this fear that if she gets mad at me she'll go telling everyone about it. Or say "at least I don't like GIRLS" to me in front of other people that don't know. I'm very paranoid about that. I don't know what to do with myself.