I knew this was going to happen. For some odd reason I thought maybe when I got off the plane you would amazingly be waiting. I knew it would never happen, not because logistiacally(?) you couldn't me being in San Frnacisco and you in Sweden. But even if you had been home I know you wouldn't have been waiting.

I knew when I came back from Africa I would miss you more than I'd ever missed someone, but I had no idea it would be this painful. This fake, I can't even tell if you care at all anymore. I can sense the end is coming and I hate it. I'm so fucking addicted to you, I just can't stop loving you, even when I don't want to anymore. I'm always going to love you, I wonder if you ever actually did love me? Was it all a lie, nothing could have been this perfect I guess.

Well maybe when you get back it will be different...you may even ENJOY being around me. I'm just so addicted to you I hate it, but I still love you.

That was so dramatic, gah