Well, last time I blogged I mentioned that I'd talked to my gf and that I felt better about everything. Later that day my girlfriend's (ex?)best friend IM'ed me... the following is the coversation that we had.
FRIEND: hey chick
FRIEND: what are you up to
ME: just doing some random stuff before bed
FRIEND: i got a ?
FRIEND: are you and alice still together
FRIEND: hmm....cuz from what ive been told you two haven't been together for like a month or more now....and if you are together....i feel there are some things i need to tell you
ME: well she and I haven't been able to talk much this summer but I talked with her this morning and everything seems just fine
FRIEND: Tiff ....I'm not telling you this to be a bitch to Alice...or anything like that..or to break you're heart....but seeing as how she helped break mine...i dont feel its right that she is leading you on like everything is all great cuz while i was in Mass. she was with my now ex-gf...and when i say with her...yea i mean they fucked....and from what alice told me....Dana aint the only one shes been sleeping with....wether or not that part is true i dont know...seeing that Alice has been lying to me for months now
ME: well I asked alice about that this morning and she said that nothings going on
FRIEND: thats bullshit....thats why she got kicked out of Rachel's house. i came back from Mass.for Dana only to have my heart fuckin ripped outta my chest and stomped on...but if you believe that nothing is goin on...that you....i just thought i would tell you what i know without a doubt is true.
FRIEND: i dont want it to come back later on and end up hurting you even worse
ME: well... thanks i guess... I'll talk to alice but I'm just not someone who immediately believes everything I'm told
FRIEND: im not either and i understand that you dont wanna believe it or whatever....when i was first told about it i didnt believe it either....i took Dana admitting it to me for me to finally grasp it
ME: well from what I've been told Dana doesn't always tell the truth
FRIEND: no she doesnt....shes no saint thats for damned sure
but she admitted it to her dad and step-mom with me sitting right beside her...and my brother brad...like i said.... i aint telling you this to start any shit or get anyone hurt....i just felt that you needed to know just as much as i did....when i finally found out the truth....ya know what i mean?
ME: yeah... well I'll talk to her, but like I said, I'm not going to jump to anything. I don't act rashly
FRIEND: I understand that...
Yeah...so... *sigh* I just want everything to be okay. I want to trust my girlfriend, but I also don't like to think that this girl was lying to me. I've met her, gotten drunk with her even, and she seemed like a pretty cool person, but I also know that she can get hot headed.
This girl had IMed me once before and left just a vague message about my girlfriend sleeping with her girlfriend, and when I asked my girlfriend about it she assured me that nothing was going on and said that her friend is different than she used to be and has lot a lot of friends.
AARGH! I just don't know what to do. I mean, I do...I need to talk to my girlfriend, but I just know that even if she explains everything and tells me she isn't sleeping with anyone else, I don't know if I can get rid of this little nugget of doubt that has implanted itself in my brain.
I hate long distance relationships. I mean...don't get me wrong, I love my girlfriend, but things would be so much simpler if we could actually see each other.
Well I'm going to go now and maybe get some work done... I'll post again after I talk to alice...wish me luck...well, hope...something. I don't know what I need.