*sigh* For anyone following my recent issues, I STILL have not heard from my girlfriend. It's been 2 weeks and a day. I must admit that I have only tried calling her a few times, but every time she hasn't been there. The reason I don't try more is that she's always at someone else's house and I don't want to bother the people who live there because the wife works really wierd hours.
Anyways, I have a gut feeling that it's over between us. I don't want to say anything for sure until I talk with her. But the only reasons I can think of for her not calling me are either that she's in jail or she's cheated on me with someone else and feels too guilty to call me. To be honest, I think choice #1 is more likely. Either way, I don't think I can deal with that. I just can't date someone who I have to worry about landing themselves in jail on a frequent basis. Also, more and more of the things that I thought I could overlook or that I figured would change, no longer look like things I can overlook or change. We just aren't that compatible, life-style wise. I mean, I have a great time when I'm with her...but I just don't really see myself living with her for the rest of my life.
*sigh* I really really dread the eventual conversation she and I are going to have. I really don't want to have to break up with her on the phone, but I'm leaving the country this weekend until December, and I don't know how soon I'd be able to see her.
I think it's just come down to the fact that I don't think it's fair to "string her on" anymore now that I've seen past my way too optimistic initial first-love syndrome and been forced to face reality. Our values just aren't similar enough for this relationship to work.
Ok, well I'm going to attempt to upload some really really awesome pictures to my images...don't know if it's gonna work though. Our internet connection is incredibly crappy.
P.S. Thanks to everyone who's encouraged me and spoken to me about my recent problems! I really appreciate it.