Sari's parents went to bed early, so she and I got to talk a little over the computer. I wrote this afterwards just to get it out of my system. I made the mistake of letting a friend read it, because now she's insisting I post it somewhere. So here it is.
What is it about her that makes me feel so damn sexy? I mean, I'm as ugly as sin. But when I talk to her or think of the way she looks at me, I feel like I could have any woman alive. Not that I'd want any but her. I hope that doesn't make me sound narcissistic. Because anyone who knows me can tell you my self esteem sucks. But right now, I feel amazing.
As you can probably guess, I talked to her again. Well, talked in our own unique way. We talked about the Tony Awards. We worked on the story. And then we got sentimental. And the sentimental turned into seduction. And honestly, I feel like I just got laid. This is the first time in months I've felt this good. I know you're probably thinking we were writing some steamy stuff. But really, anything we say to each other is public. So we have to keep it in check. I don't know. I guess it's just the notion that even thinking of me can have that effect on her. Here she is, this gorgeous girl that so many people would love to be with. But it's me she chose. It's me that makes her breath come quick and her heart beat faster. It's me that can make her melt by simply saying I wish I could kiss her. It's me she thinks about in those quiet moments before she falls asleep. It's me she dreams about when sleep finally takes her. And it's me she stands strong for when things are at their worst.
I know there have been people who loved before me. And there will be those who will love after me. And even those who are loving right now. But sometimes, when she feels so very near, I'm sure that no one else has ever loved like this and no one else ever will. I feel like, even though things are so bad right now, they won't matter in a few years. We'll lay there together in the bed we share, and we'll say "remember when..." And then we'll laugh about it, because we made it through. And we'll know that since we handled that, we can take anything that comes our way. And it's all because of that one constant feeling we share. She loves me.