Remember my second-to-last entry when I talked about asking that boy to the concert who I like
both as a friend and a prospective BF (though I'm unaware of his sexual preferences)? Well, it
looks like I might not be able to go anyway! That night, my aunt is having family pictures
two days before my cousin's Bar Mitzvah! The times are inconvenient... I might not be able to go
to the show! BAH!!!! NO NO NO NO!!!!!
To be honest, I'm not that close with my cousins. It's definitely not hate, but I only see them a
few times a year, and that's probably enough. We just don't have much in common. Why should I miss
this concert by my second-favourite band in order to smile while pretending we're one big happy
family? My aunt!
I love her, and she does so much for the family-- like preparing big, difficult Passover Seders.
Plus, I really don't want to cause waves. That would suck.
So, I might be able to go, but it's going to be hard to co-ordinate with friends when to meet, etc.
Also, I'll miss the opening band! Bah! And, the end result-- I probably wont' ask this guy.
It will just be too inconvenient...
Am I obsessing? I had a dream last night about him... that he replied to my invitation e-mail...
He said, first, I hope you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are having a nice April, or something
stupid like that which only appears in dreams. I thought "'boyfriend/girlfriend'? He's sensitive
to queer issues! Maybe he's gay!" Then, the e-mail said, "Sorry, I can't come. But thanks a lot"
Aw, that would be great. He can't come, but that would open a discussion. Of course, it's just a
dream, a symbol of my obsession.
I sure hope he never reads this. It would probably freak him out. It's freaking me out, to be
honest. Such strong feelings from me for another guy... is this me?
Man, this is a weird life.