Listening to Margeret Cho, LoL! Anyone who has never heard her should, she is hilarious.

Lately I've been thinking about romantic love.... what it is, is it even real?
I don't know. All the romantic relationships in my life that have ever meant anything, been really important to me have broken, mostly because they were based on lies to begin with. My parents are divorced, my first love was a flop, my gods-sisters (lonnnng story, no there was no incest or anything, it just sounds sketchy in those terms) three year 'love' crashed and burned last month, it seems like an eternity ago. It's troubling, seeing what is supposed to be perfect in your mind fall, and then in retrospect finding out exactly how far from perfect it was. It makes you doubt love even exists. I don't want to doubt, I want to believe that someday I'll find someone who will complement me, and I will be able to 'love' forever, and the same for my sisters and even my mother, but forever is such a long time. Exspecially when I'm so broken at life, and so is everyone else, it seems. I don't even know what romantic love is.
Not Disney 'save the princess and happily ever after' obviously, gods would that be a bore, but maybe a friend who makes you remember why you are happy to be alive? I have that right now, but the word I'd use for that is a crush, not love. A boy I look forward to seeing every school day, and anylize for signs of returned affection when our 45 minute class together is over. But like I said, that's not love. I don't know him at all well enough to 'love' him. So maybe love is someone who knows you and you know well but you want to be with anyway? Sounds a lot like a friend to me.

I don't know. I don't think there is a set true answer, although maybe there will be a personal one later in life, when 'I'm wiser in the ways of the world.' So in college, maybe?
I think either way it doesn't really matter, I still can't wait for my 45 minutes tomorrow, and for now, that is enough. ^_^