"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."
~D. Adams

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I am not there still.
I am still not yet free,
but one day I know I will
one day I will be me.

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One year ago, a shadow fell upon me. I embodied the Underground Man- such a literary anti-hero become my idol. I was his servant, ever doing his bidding of inaction. Stuck in an endless cycle of long-forgotten hope.

I thought that I could never change. I thought that I was lost. I thought many things, negatively. I now have (almost) completely changed.

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aN exErCise in the abSuRD

Part I: I do not know

I do not know where I am going to live next year.

I do not know not know if the boy over there likes me.

I do not know if I will have a boyfriend.

I do not know who are friends anymore.

I do not know where my life is going.

I do not know why my life is going.

I do not know how my life is going.

I do not know me.

Part II: BUT [...]

I do know that I am living.

I do know that I have friends.

I do know that I like that boy over there.

I do know one day I will be where I want to be.

I do know that human beings are all not evil.

I do know that I am never alone.

I do know that I am capable of loving and being loved.

Conclusion

I do not know many things, but what I do know I like.

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reprise

One day, when the sun does shine,
one day that boy- he will be mine!

fins
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