"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."
I am not there still.
I am still not yet free,
but one day I know I will
one day I will be me.
One year ago, a shadow fell upon me. I embodied the Underground Man- such a literary anti-hero become my idol. I was his servant, ever doing his bidding of inaction. Stuck in an endless cycle of long-forgotten hope.
I thought that I could never change. I thought that I was lost. I thought many things, negatively. I now have (almost) completely changed.
aN exErCise in the abSuRD
Part I: I do not know
I do not know where I am going to live next year.
I do not know not know if the boy over there likes me.
I do not know if I will have a boyfriend.
I do not know who are friends anymore.
I do not know where my life is going.
I do not know why my life is going.
I do not know how my life is going.
I do not know me.
Part II: BUT [...]
I do know that I am living.
I do know that I have friends.
I do know that I like that boy over there.
I do know one day I will be where I want to be.
I do know that human beings are all not evil.
I do know that I am never alone.
I do know that I am capable of loving and being loved.
I do not know many things, but what I do know I like.
One day, when the sun does shine,
one day that boy- he will be mine!