1) So I had two essay writing things due today. And I had them both done three
hours BEFORE the start of class. One of them I actually proof-read and then
edited. Yes. I said EDITED. I’ve never actually edited anything before; I mean,
you know, not before the teacher has gone ahead and graded it. I would explain
the circumstances as to why I showed this spontaneous burst of timely
organization, except that I don’t have the slightest fucking clue. Maybe my
subconscious didn’t want to spend a surreally long nocturnal Monday night
with the overhead light penetrating my greasy skull, listening to music and
crying, only to inevitably fall asleep in a sweaty heap on the floor wrapped
in a musty afghan with cherry Popsicle wrappers stuck to my legs, forcing me
to finish the project in a literal burst of insanity ten minutes after class
has officially started.
Maybe that. I don’t know. Anyway. I got them done. I’m the best student ever.
2) On that note, I’m thinking that maybe I’ll feign amnesia along about
Friday when my large English project is due. I’m writing up a list of the words
that I should pretend to have somehow forgotten. The list is alphabetical.
And typed. See? BEST STUDENT EVER.
3) Oh! As per my friend's advice, I wrote one of my papers on how Robert E. Lee
and Ulysses S. Grant and kelly all like ponies. And ells. It seemed a little
bit disjointed until I threw in that I like to “travell